Credit Card Jokes

I wondered what credit card my local vicar used, then I realised it's PrayPal.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Credit Card Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Found out the best way to stop a bull charging in a China shop is to take away his credit card. Went to the bank and they told me they could… Continue reading Credit Card Jokes

Spy Jokes

Met Canada's top spy. Codename double eh seven.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Spy Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw James Bond in a field with a flock of sheep. Turns out he was a Shepherd Spy. What’s the best way to catch a spy bear? In a honey trap. Who… Continue reading Spy Jokes

Hope Jokes

Friend of mine keeps trying to paint black and white stripes on my back. Hope he stops badgering me.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hope Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw an animal running off with all the hope that was left. Think it was Pandora’s Fox Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is my guide through life. If in doubt, randomly eat and… Continue reading Hope Jokes

Bump Jokes

Just bumped into someone who sold me a miniature globe. It's a small world.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I bumped cars with someone who was going to dig for coal. Not a big smash, just miner damage. I was out in the fog yesterday and I kept bumping into falling… Continue reading Bump Jokes

Bite Jokes

Someone seems to have been feasting on my laptop. They've taken a mega bite out of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bite Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Imagine being a vampire and losing your fangs so you can’t bite. That would just suck. A loose connection in my robot dog does more damage than it actually attacking anyone. It’s… Continue reading Bite Jokes

Melting Jokes

Heated up some paint and ended up with an emulsional meltdown.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of melting Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I saw a snowman playing Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me on the piano. Meltin’ John. Got in a heated argument with a snowman. He lost his cool and had… Continue reading Melting Jokes

Scarf Jokes

Why was the hipster sweating? He wore a scarf long before it was cool.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scarf Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw Miami Sound Machine recently and one of them waved a blue & white hat and scarf. Must have been Gloria Leicesterfan. What did the scarf say to the hat? I’m going… Continue reading Scarf Jokes

Van Jokes

Offered to take Van Helsing for dinner. He said he wanted to go to a stake house.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Van Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge”.“What’s come over you…?”“Three cars, a van and a motorbike…” Really posh burger van here. It has four Michelin tyres. Asked the man in the ice… Continue reading Van Jokes

Crumb Jokes

My biscuits keep falling to pieces but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Crumb Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned out to be nothing to worry about, though, it’s under Ctrl. I was going to make an apple pie but I… Continue reading Crumb Jokes

Leather Jokes

I swapped my leather belt for a nuclear one and ended up with a radioactive waist.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Leather Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What is made of leather, a foot long, and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe. Why do bears have fur coats? Because they’d look silly in leather jackets. Leather is the most… Continue reading Leather Jokes