This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cream Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Turned up at a fancy dress party as sponge, jelly, custard and cream half an hour before anyone else arrived. I was a trifle early.
Friend went for a job at a sun cream factory but didn’t get it. He’s going to reapply.
Told the doctor I had a mince pie growing out of my head. He said he had some cream for it.
Saw a rhino made out of pastry, with a cream horn.
As I walked into my local shop the other day, some bloke threw some milk, cheese, yoghurt and cream at me. How dairy!
Had a night out with a group of custard cream delivery drivers. They really take the biscuit.
I used to think the film Alien was about making a cup of tea. “I can’t open this milk!” “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”
Asked in the local deli if I could buy a bagel with cream cheese. They told me I had to use money like everyone else.
Doctor prescribed me some anti gloating cream. I can’t wait to rub it in.
A friend of mine isn’t sure whether he believes in the existence of creamy alcoholic drinks. He’s eggnogstic.
If you like these cream jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
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