Tag: Joke

Tile Jokes

Great new floor in my bathroom but you have to make sure you set them in just one direction. I got them from Harry's tiles.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tile Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Went to the DIY shop the other week and asked in which section I could find hammers, bricks and tiles. The chap said they were under Construction. I asked when they would… Continue reading Tile Jokes

Hacker Jokes

The worst thing about hackers finding your password is having to rename your dog.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hacker Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why is it easy to hack an excavated pyramid? It’s unencrypted. Wasn’t hard to crack Forrest Gump’s wifi password. 1forrest1 Friend of mine just lost his job as a hacker. I told… Continue reading Hacker Jokes

Question Jokes

"Are you capable?" First question I was asked in my superhero interview.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Question Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I went to a pub quiz last night. I could tell it was a rough place when the first question was “What are you looking at?” I’m selling a broken pub quiz… Continue reading Question Jokes

Darts Jokes

They used to call me Mister Dartboard in my local pub. Because I usually did.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Darts Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What do darts teams play in winter? Ice oche.   My favourite darts player is called Dusty Carpet. Never been beaten.   They used to call me Mister Dartboard… Continue reading Darts Jokes

Tax Jokes

If I had £1 for every time I looked on the negative side of things, I'd have a huge tax bill.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tax Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Why does Santa spend January filling in his tax return? Because he’s elf employed.   If I had £1 for every time I looked on the negative side of… Continue reading Tax Jokes

Line Jokes

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Line Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. It was level pegging.   Took a risk washing my clothes when there… Continue reading Line Jokes

Radio Jokes

I get my love of music from my father, who was a conductor. He always listened to the radio on his bus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Radio Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’ve got a new radio alarm clock that plays Parklife by Blur. It wakes me up every morning except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen.… Continue reading Radio Jokes

Pop Jokes

Went shopping online for a new toaster, and found a specialist site for it, but gave up. Got too many pop ups.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pop Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Lollipop ladies make me cross.   Went shopping online for a new toaster, and found a specialist site for it, but gave up. Got too many pop ups.  … Continue reading Pop Jokes

Corner Jokes

I spotted a group of people standing on the corner of the street drinking Earl Grey. Turns out it was a T junction.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of corner jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Stamps. They sit in the corner and do nothing all day and somehow still travel all over the world.   Was working as a delivery driver. Asked the recipient… Continue reading Corner Jokes

Drum Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Drum Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.   Bought some chicken drumsticks the other day. Just need to find some drums now for… Continue reading Drum Jokes