Darts Jokes

They used to call me Mister Dartboard in my local pub. Because I usually did.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Darts Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What do darts teams play in winter? Ice oche.   My favourite darts player is called Dusty Carpet. Never been beaten.   They used to call me Mister Dartboard… Continue reading Darts Jokes

Tax Jokes

If I had £1 for every time I looked on the negative side of things, I'd have a huge tax bill.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tax Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Why does Santa spend January filling in his tax return? Because he’s elf employed.   If I had £1 for every time I looked on the negative side of… Continue reading Tax Jokes

Line Jokes

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Line Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. It was level pegging.   Took a risk washing my clothes when there… Continue reading Line Jokes

Radio Jokes

I get my love of music from my father, who was a conductor. He always listened to the radio on his bus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Radio Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’ve got a new radio alarm clock that plays Parklife by Blur. It wakes me up every morning except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen.… Continue reading Radio Jokes

Pop Jokes

Went shopping online for a new toaster, and found a specialist site for it, but gave up. Got too many pop ups.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pop Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Lollipop ladies make me cross.   Went shopping online for a new toaster, and found a specialist site for it, but gave up. Got too many pop ups.  … Continue reading Pop Jokes

Corner Jokes

I spotted a group of people standing on the corner of the street drinking Earl Grey. Turns out it was a T junction.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of corner jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Stamps. They sit in the corner and do nothing all day and somehow still travel all over the world.   Was working as a delivery driver. Asked the recipient… Continue reading Corner Jokes

Drum Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Drum Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.   Bought some chicken drumsticks the other day. Just need to find some drums now for… Continue reading Drum Jokes

Strawberry Jokes

A strawberry growing friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of strawberry jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A lorry load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.   What do you call strawberry jam that plays the trumpet? Tooty fruity.… Continue reading Strawberry Jokes

Bus Jokes

I couldn't get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of bus jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.       What sort of public transport do superheroes use? Bus Lightyear.   Do they have a conductor on electric buses?   I hopped on a bus earlier today. After a… Continue reading Bus Jokes

Sleep Jokes

I know someone who was habitually late, until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden. Sounds odd, I know, but now he wakes up on Thyme.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of sleep jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to buy a new mattress the other day. I wasn’t sure about it, so the salesman told me to go away and sleep on it.… Continue reading Sleep Jokes