Message Jokes

Accordian to a recent scientific study inserting instruments into messages often goes unnoticed

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Message Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend had bred a messenger pigeon with a woodpecker. Not only does it deliver a message, it knocks the door when it gets there. Saw an ancient secret… Continue reading Message Jokes

Handle Jokes

Friend quit his job at the door factory He just couldn't get a handle on it

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Handle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I hailed a taxi, pointed to the car in front and said to the driver “follow him!”. He said “Sure, what’s his Twitter handle?” What’s the best way to… Continue reading Handle Jokes

Nose Jokes

my eye jokes are cornea

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nose Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew. Entered a nose wiping competition but was disqualified. Can’t believe I blew it. I could tell… Continue reading Nose Jokes

Pyramid Jokes

A friend finds those who build pyramids irresistible. Probably all the phaorah-mones.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pyramid Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage. There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In.   Terrible to see erosion to take… Continue reading Pyramid Jokes

Football Jokes

Great start to the season for Lion King FC: a win away, a win away, a win away...

This weekend sees the World Cup final, so it seems a good opportunity to have a few football jokes. Most seem to be about a specific team or player, but I thought I would stay neutral and just go for the silly… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality… If you’re… Continue reading Football Jokes

Library Jokes

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on 'Finding Bigfoot'. The librarian directs him to the large print section.

It seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed that it would be a good topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes.  Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system would have them… Continue reading Library Jokes

Photography Jokes

I had to give up my career as a photographer. I kept losing focus.

You may have spotted that I like to take a photo or two, and somehow photography and cameras has managed to avoid being a feature of the regular Friday one-liner pages, so it seems time to rectify that.  Here is a list of photography jokes, and a few camera jokes, and of course they come… Continue reading Photography Jokes

Colour Jokes

I went to the doctor and said "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". He said "It's just a pigment of your imagination"

Happy Friday everyone (if you are reading this on a Friday).  The topic of this week’s puns and one-liners is colour jokes, and I hope that you enjoy this collection of colourful comments and witticisms.  As always, no guarantee of originality or funniness…       I went to the doctor and said “I keep… Continue reading Colour Jokes

Accent Jokes

Jousting. What a Brummie asks a bee.

These series of puns and one-liners are accent jokes, and specifically, British accent jokes, so they may not travel so well beyond that.  If you find yourself scratching your head wondering why it should be funny, then try it in the relevant accent.  If that doesn’t work, comment below and I will try to explain.… Continue reading Accent Jokes