Balloon Jokes

I invented a cold air balloon, but it didn't really take off.

The festive period in my house has, in addition to Christmas and New Year, my birthday somewhere between the two, so plenty of parties, and most of the celebratory pun topics have been used up, so here are some balloon jokes as an as of yet unused pun source.  As normal, they come with no… Continue reading Balloon Jokes

Elf Jokes

What do you call an elf who runs off and stops working for Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

It’s getting close to Christmas, and whilst we’ve had jokes before about all sorts of aspects of Christmas, this week’s puns and one liners take the form of Elf Jokes, most of which are very short and particularly corny.  As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Why did the… Continue reading Elf Jokes

Island Jokes

If I was on a desert island, the record that I would most like to have is for long distance swimming.

I found myself near the Lake Isle of Innisfree this week, as made famous by the William Butler Yates, on Lough Gill near Sligo in Ireland, and it gave me the topic for this week’s puns and one liners, so here are some island jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or… Continue reading Island Jokes

Rabbit Jokes

A few years ago, I asked the girl in the pet grooming shop out to dinner. She couldn’t make it though, she was washing her hare.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of rabbit jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     I know a bald chap who put a rabbit on his head. He wanted a head of hare.   Got in a lift with an animal that looked… Continue reading Rabbit Jokes

Brush Jokes

demanding sweeping reforms

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of brush jokes.  As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     I went to a record shop and asked, “have you got anything by the Doors?” He said, “Yes, a bucket of sand, a mop and a brush”.   Friend if… Continue reading Brush Jokes

Shoe Jokes

What is made of leather, a foot long, and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.

I have oddly had lots of shoe based conversations in the last few days, so this week’s puns and one liners take the form of Shoe Jokes (thanks Tim & Aimee). As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to the filling station this morning for petrol.… Continue reading Shoe Jokes

Map Jokes

I got a pair of trousers with a map of the London Underground on them. I've had to change twice already.

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is map jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… but hopefully they will help you find your way through.       I love my map. I’d be lost without it.   Yorkshire Constabulary have had all of their maps stolen.… Continue reading Map Jokes

Tooth Jokes

I didn’t realise my uncle had a false tooth until it came out in conversation.

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is tooth jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity….     I didn’t realise my uncle had a false tooth until it came out in conversation.   A friend of mine had a very successful round of golf, then… Continue reading Tooth Jokes

Trouser Jokes

I saw a sign outside a shop saying “50% off Men’s Trousers”. Turned out they were selling shorts.

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is trouser jokes. Of course, if you are a user of American English, that’s Pant Jokes, but I’m sure you know what I mean. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Was in a hurry so tried pressing… Continue reading Trouser Jokes

Dragon Jokes

I spotted a lizard on a portable toilet. I suspect it was a commode-o-dragon.

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is dragon jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     The most stressful thing about being a dragon must be trying to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.   What is the difference between St George and Santa’s… Continue reading Dragon Jokes