Pear Jokes

I tried growing genetically modified apples but it's gone pear shaped.

We’ve had various fruit based jokes before including apples, lemons and bananas, so continuing the occasional theme, here are some pear jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. If you like them, have a go at playing Guess My Fruit.       Went to the shop today to buy… Continue reading Pear Jokes

Pancake Jokes

Went to a pancake restaurant, and asked if my dinner would be long. "No, sir, round" came the reply.

It was Shrove Tuesday, or Pancake Day, earlier this week, so here are some pancake jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… And if you like pancakes, you might also like this.       Dreamt last night I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road.  Tossing and… Continue reading Pancake Jokes

Roof Jokes

Saw a chap painting pictures of bikes on a local church ceiling. Cycleangelo.

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is roof jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.       Went to a party with a construction team the other week. They really raised the roof.   My mate’s chimney sweeping business is going well. Performance is going through… Continue reading Roof Jokes

Guitar Jokes

Why did Darth Vader search the guitar shop? To find the hidden rebel bass.

We’ve had a few musical themed posts in the past, and this week’s series of puns and one liners follow that trend with the topic being guitar jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       U2’s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them. It… Continue reading Guitar Jokes

Wall Jokes

A friend of mine is a carpet fitter. Walter Wall.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of wall jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…     I left my bike beside a wall the other day, and it fell over. It was two tyred.   I went to the house where the inventor of the toothbrush lived. There… Continue reading Wall Jokes

Bath Jokes

Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets and the mats. Police think it was the work of rug addicts.

This week’s collection of one liners and corny puns take the form of bath jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…       A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.   Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make… Continue reading Bath Jokes

Curtain Jokes

I got curtains for my PC the other day. Well, it has windows...

This week’s topic for one liners and puns is curtain jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Venetian blinds are excellent. Without them, it would be curtains for everyone.   Came downstairs earlier and was sad to see that my curtains were drawn. I was relieved to… Continue reading Curtain Jokes

Construction Jokes

Pressed the Hammer Function button on my new drill, and it keeps playing "You can't touch this".

Following on from last week’s paint jokes, this week’s collection of one liners take the theme of construction jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…       Always convinced myself that my friend wasn’t taking things from local building sites, but when I look back now, the signs were there.  … Continue reading Construction Jokes

Paint Jokes

Saw a chap painting pictures of bikes on a local church ceiling. Cycleangelo.

A conversation this week about a Pun Of The Day conversation ended up with us talking about Paint Jokes, so here are some one liners on that topic. As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…       What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.   A bald friend painted rabbits on his… Continue reading Paint Jokes

Pie Jokes

Bloke down the pub sold me a DVD. It had 3.14 stars. I think it was pi-rated.

A colleague this week told me about his time working in a pie factory, and his witty anecdotes helped me chose a topic for this week’s one liners, so here are some pie jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.       The local pie shop almost never closes.… Continue reading Pie Jokes