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Birthday Jokes

Bought a friend a fridge for his birthday. You should have seen his face light up when he opened it.

It’s my birthday today, so here are some birthday jokes to mark the occasion.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.       A man moves to a new house. For the first three days on the way to work he sees a woman hitting her son with a log… Continue reading Birthday Jokes

Middle Earth Jokes

Saw a great Hobbit pinball machine. Doesn't accept coins though, only Tolkeins.

This week’s series of one liners takes the form of Middle Earth Jokes due to one particularly festive line.  As normal, these will not magic up hilarity or originality…       Saw a great Hobbit pinball machine. Doesn’t accept coins though, only Tolkeins.   Dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings last night, turned… Continue reading Middle Earth Jokes

Bottle Jokes

Going to a recycling party this weekend. The invite said to bring a bottle.

In the midst of the Christmas Party season, here are some Bottle Jokes. As normal they don’t come with any guarantee of hilarity or originality.       Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.   On a flight, off on holiday. The cabin crew… Continue reading Bottle Jokes

Robot Jokes

What is a robot's favourite genre of music? Heavy metal.

This week’s one liners take the topic robot jokes, which are mainly very short riddles, for some reason. A couple of Star Wars related ones in there too, and one from Dr Who….  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I got myself a new robot puppy. Dogmatic.… Continue reading Robot Jokes

Chicken Jokes

I think the ghost in the chicken coop was a poultrygheist.

The topic for this week’s one liners is chicken jokes, which I was surprised that I had not already put together a page on chickens. As normal don’t expect hilarity or originality. In fact, some are positively fowl.       Where’s the best place to find out about chickens? In a hencyclopedia.   A… Continue reading Chicken Jokes

Fish Jokes

I'd tell you a joke about herbs and fish but this isn't the thyme or the plaice.

Someone sent me some fish jokes this week, so it seemed a good choice for this week’s one liners, so here are some fish jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.       I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday.  He said he would have preferred a fish.… Continue reading Fish Jokes

Yellow Jokes

What's yellow and can't swim? A JCB.

I am not entirely sure why I chose this topic for the week’s one liners, but here are some puns on the theme of yellow jokes.  As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity…       Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour.  … Continue reading Yellow Jokes

Frost Jokes

Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.

Cold mornings have returned, and I had to find my deicer this week.  In fact, it took me so long to find my deicer that my car had already done the work, which gave me time to think of some frost jokes.  As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Cold weather… Continue reading Frost Jokes

Werewolf Jokes

How do you make a werewolf stew? Leave him waiting for the full moon.

It’s Halloween weekend and as we have previously had Ghost Jokes, Dracula Jokes, Vampire Jokes and Halloween Jokes, so this year here are some Werewolf Jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be too hilarious or original…       How do you know if Father Christmas is really a werewolf? He has Santa claws…… Continue reading Werewolf Jokes

Fire Jokes

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. It was a disco inferno.

It’s autumn, not long before the clocks change, and Halloween is around the corner. This week has seen us sitting at home in the evening with the fire lit, so the theme for this week’s one liners is Fire Jokes. As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Bought a friend a… Continue reading Fire Jokes

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