Tortoise Jokes

Why don't you see many tortoises wearing scarves? They have turtlenecks.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tortoise Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… The police interviewed a sloth who was mugged by some tortoises. He said, “it all happened so quickly”. I’ve discovered the secret of a long life. Be born as a giant tortoise.… Continue reading Tortoise Jokes

Rumour Jokes

Rumour has it that all the judges aspire to go to play basketball on top of the local skyscraper. It's the highest court in the country.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Rumour Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard a rumour that the local dentists are going on strike. Brace yourselves… Heard a rumour of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth. I heard a rumour that… Continue reading Rumour Jokes

Violin Jokes

I saw a pig who plays the violin walking with a limp. Turns out he'd pulled a hamstring.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Violin Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Apparently Karl Marx’s toilet plays music when it flushes because of the violins inherent in the cistern. Saw an advert for a really quiet violin on eBay. No strings attached. Local pub… Continue reading Violin Jokes

Tickle Jokes

Tried tickling a keg of beer once. Ended up with a barrel of laughs.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tickle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s small, white and laughs a lot in salads? A tickled onion. Finally found out how you make a giant squid laugh. Ten tickles. I used some magic to make some fog… Continue reading Tickle Jokes