ATM Jokes

A local bank is opening an ATM in a tree. If its successful, they might expand to other branches.

The ATM, or cash machine, reached its fiftieth birthday in the U.K. this week.  To mark the occasion, here are some ATM jokes, some of which may be older than the machines themselves.  They were always designed for humour, with their launch being made by a celebrity first customer, Reg Varney, before he moved on… Continue reading ATM Jokes

Lamp Jokes

I searched on eBay for something to light my lamp. It said “no matches found”.

This week’s topic for puns is Lamp Jokes. However, no genie (or djini) in the lamp jokes here as that could be a page all by itself, a bit like the “how many x does it take to change a lightbulb” type, which no doubt will arrive here at some stage. Don’t, as always, expect… Continue reading Lamp Jokes

Pepper Jokes

A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.

The topic for this week’s puns is Pepper Jokes, so take them with a pinch of salt. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Someone told me I looked like a pepper mill. I took it as a condiment.   Why do seals live in salt water? Pepper… Continue reading Pepper Jokes

Keyboard Jokes

My keyboard is missing a key. There's no escape.

Staring to my laptop earlier thinking about joke topics gave me the idea of keyboard Jokes for this week’s puns. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       The benefit of working at a laptop keyboard factory, extra shifts.   I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned… Continue reading Keyboard Jokes

Pencil Jokes

A friend of mine got engaged to a pencil. He was really excited to introduce his friends to his bride 2B.

I was looking for some stationery this week, and it made me think about topics for a page of puns. We’ve had ruler jokes before, so on a similar theme, here are some pencil jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of either hilarity or originality…       A policeman came up to… Continue reading Pencil Jokes