Category: Randomness

Telescope Jokes

Wondered why I couldn't save any clips of the pulsar I was trying to find with my telescope, then I realised that video killed the radio star.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Telescope Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Came third in a Star Gazing competition with my telescope. I got a constellation prize. I heard having a telescope is really interesting. I’m going to look into it. Why is it… Continue reading Telescope Jokes

Honey Jokes

Saw someone in the queue at the supermarket with salmon and honey. Just the bear necessities.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Honey Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why do bees have sticky fur? They use honey combs. I love being covered in snot and honey. It’s the bees’ sneeze. Why did the ants dance on the honey jar lid?… Continue reading Honey Jokes

Dalek Jokes

Which Dalek tried to get rid of James Bond? Skaromanga

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dalek Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Called the local council to ask about their plans to prevent Dalek attack. They said steps had been put in place. A dalek was on the Great Skaro Bake Off and was… Continue reading Dalek Jokes

Factory Jokes

I put in a lot of extra hours at work and ended up getting sacked from the clock factory.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Factory Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard a huge bang at the cheese factory and suddenly the only thing left was de Brie. I worked in a cardboard box factory but it folded. I’d love a job doing… Continue reading Factory Jokes

University Jokes

So happy that my student loan got me through university. I don't know how I can ever repay them.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of University Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Local giraffe graduated early from university. He was head and shoulders above his class. Congratulations to all those finishing university at the moment. A friend just got his Microphone degree, graduating with… Continue reading University Jokes

Architect Jokes

I don't use sandwich architects, I prefer to use sub contractors.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Architect Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I wanted to be an architect but I sprained my angle. Wanted someone to design a big boat for me to carry some animals, so I consulted with an arkitect. Asked an… Continue reading Architect Jokes

Witch Jokes

Witches' most frightening spell books are often written in curse-ive.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Witch Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I would tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but it’s Narnia business. Heard two witches telling jokes. Broom broom. How many witches does it take… Continue reading Witch Jokes

Soap Jokes

Someone has stolen all the soap from my bath. I think it was my robber duck.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Soap Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Singing in the shower is great until you get shampoo on your tongue. Then it’s more of a soap opera. Someone has stolen all the soap from my bath. I think it… Continue reading Soap Jokes

Parking Jokes

Parking a single car doesn't take much effort. Parking a fleet of cars, that takes a lot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Parking Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Where do you leave your spaceship when you visit the moon? At a parking meteor. Saw a parking sign that said “Reserved”. I thought, I’m a bit of an introvert, so I… Continue reading Parking Jokes

Shoulder Jokes

I wondered how many shoulders vamopires have. I decided to count scapula.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Shoulder Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder. One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on… Continue reading Shoulder Jokes

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