Pump Jokes

All the places where I can get fuel are like family to me. They're my pump kin.
All the places where I can get fuel are like family to me. They're my pump kin.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

I remember when air pumps for car tyres used to be free, now they cost £1. The rising cost of inflation.

I left my job running an air pump. Couldn’t handle the pressure.

Someone asked me to borrow my foot pump. I assume they have flat feet.

Got really emotional when using the petrol pump yesterday. I just started filling it up.

Saw a trailer filled with musicians with someone trying to fill up a car on it. I think they were trying to pump on the bandwagon.

All the places where I can get fuel are like family to me. They’re my pump kin.

I saw an athlete filling his car with a really long hose. I think he was doing the long pump.

Went to a conference about pumps and ended up feeling drained.

Last spring someone swapped the stickers on the petrol pumps at a local filling station. It was an April Fuels Joke.

Someone told me they would invent an automated pump and it turned into a self fuel filling prophecy.

If you like these pump jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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