Month: September 2017

Plate Jokes

I was in a cafe the other day and when I turned on my laptop I kept getting pictures of stews and casseroles. Turned out I was in a wireless hotpot.

This week’s puns and one liners come with the topic of plate jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…   Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour.   Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.  … Continue reading Plate Jokes

Delivery Jokes

Saw an advert for an Adam and the Ants music book, and they throw in a free stand and deliver.

It’s often said that jokes are all about delivery, so here are some delivery jokes. As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…       Had a night out with a group of Wagon Wheel delivery drivers. They really take the biscuit.   A friend wants to give up being a postman to become a… Continue reading Delivery Jokes

Parrot Jokes

If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I'd teach it to say is "Help! They've turned me into a parrot!"

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the theme of parrot jokes, for no particular reason.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity…       What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.   What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.   What… Continue reading Parrot Jokes

Watch Jokes

A friend of mine bought me a watch that has stopped working, but I haven’t told them yet. It’s never the right time.

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is watch jokes. As normal these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend of mine bought me a watch that has stopped working, but I haven’t told them yet. It’s never the right time.   I held up my watch… Continue reading Watch Jokes

Snake Jokes

My pet snake is exactly 3.14 metres long. He’s a πthon.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of snake jokes, for no particular reason. They just happen to rhyme with last week’s cake jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’m a bit worried about the snake that ate the Meccano set. Apparently he’s now… Continue reading Snake Jokes