Coat Jokes

I saw a knight wearing a coat shaped like an octopus. Apparently it was his coat of arms.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Coat Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My local decorator has a tiny wardrobe. He only needs one coat. Once went to a Prime Minister themed fancy dress party as Winston Churchill, complete with suit, coat and hat. Didn’t… Continue reading Coat Jokes

Chilli Jokes

I made some tiny jackets for my jalapenos because they were a little chilli.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of chilli Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was in the kitchen and knocked over all the mince, rice and spices. It was chilli con carnage. How do you work out how heavy a chilli pepper is? Give it… Continue reading Chilli Jokes

Miner Jokes

Applied for a job extracting coal but they said I didn't have the right experience. Never mined.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Miner Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I bumped cars with someone who was going to dig for coal. Not a big smash, just miner damage. Group of guys covered in coal dust walk into a bar. The barman… Continue reading Miner Jokes

Design Jokes

A web designer I know got into trouble with his manager for deciding to use left aligned text, because it wasn't justified.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Design Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Friend of mine just finished his A levels. he studied music of the 1970s, Scandinavia, the history of Eurovision and outlandish fashion design. he got ABBA. Friend of mine got a job… Continue reading Design Jokes

Cage Jokes

Went to a wedding in a Faraday Cage. The service was lovely but the reception was awful.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cage Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What was the Soviet Union’s most secretive insect? The Cagey Bee. I spotted a lion in a cage at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now. Went on… Continue reading Cage Jokes

Diamond Jokes

"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". John Lennon lost at Cluedo every time.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Diamond Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”. John Lennon lost at Cluedo every time. I was driving down a road that was surfaced with emeralds, rubies and diamonds. I think it was a… Continue reading Diamond Jokes

Wrapping Jokes

My dog keeps wrapping things in cardboard. He's a boxer.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Wrapping Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Some people thought my idea of replacing Christmas wrapping paper with Bubble Wrap was silly, but at least I made my presents known. I ordered some bubble wrap online just to see… Continue reading Wrapping Jokes

Dress Jokes

Got a job taking photos of salmona and tuna in dresses and shirts. Sounds odd but was really easy, like shooting fish in apparel.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dress Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I used to dress off the peg but now my neighbours bring their laundry in at night. My local dress alteration company is really fast. Tailor swift. Had to give up my… Continue reading Dress Jokes

Telescope Jokes

Wondered why I couldn't save any clips of the pulsar I was trying to find with my telescope, then I realised that video killed the radio star.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Telescope Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Came third in a Star Gazing competition with my telescope. I got a constellation prize. I heard having a telescope is really interesting. I’m going to look into it. Why is it… Continue reading Telescope Jokes

Honey Jokes

Saw someone in the queue at the supermarket with salmon and honey. Just the bear necessities.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Honey Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why do bees have sticky fur? They use honey combs. I love being covered in snot and honey. It’s the bees’ sneeze. Why did the ants dance on the honey jar lid?… Continue reading Honey Jokes