Carriage Jokes

Someone told me that getting a coach would improve my tennis. Now I've no idea what to do with this horse and carriage.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Carriage Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was driving down a road that was surfaced with emeralds, rubies and diamonds. I think it was a jewel carriageway. I wanted to learn to be a train mechanic, but I… Continue reading Carriage Jokes

Harp Jokes

Heard an easy listen strings version of Bonnie Tyler hits. It's totally clips of the harp.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Harp Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard a story about someone who crossed a panda with a harp, turned out to be a bear faced lyre. Saw an advert for a really quiet harp on eBay. No strings… Continue reading Harp Jokes

Thumb Jokes

Saw an architect dip his thumb in some navy coloured paint. Apparently he was trying to get a blueprint.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Thumb Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I spotted a new website all about hitch hiking. It’s got the thumbs up. I dislocated my thumb but two friends managed to reset it. It was a joint effort. A carpenter… Continue reading Thumb Jokes

Flip Jokes

I used to wonder who flipped a vampire's pancakes. Turns out it's Count Spatula.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Flip Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I met a really angry pancake earlier. He just flipped. A man with two left feet walks into a shoe shop and says, “Got any flip flips?” How do penguins make a… Continue reading Flip Jokes

Stage Jokes

When to a U2 gig and Bono fell off the stage. He was standing to close to The Edge.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Stage Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… One of the reason that people on stage are often good at making small talk is that they have microphones. Local theatre director has lined the stage with Scrabble tiles so he… Continue reading Stage Jokes

Cube Jokes

A friend just gave me a sugar cube as a gift. I thought it was very sweet.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cube Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I tried tickling some Oxo cubes and they became a laughing stock. I was going to put ice cubes in my socks then I got cold feet. Following a recipe, says I… Continue reading Cube Jokes

Licence Jokes

I used to always go the extra mile. That's why I lost my taxi driving licence.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Licence Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Found out recently that James Bond is a big fan of pottery. He’s even got a licence to kiln. Do you need a current licence to drive an electric car? I used… Continue reading Licence Jokes

Graffiti Jokes

Bought some graffiti proof paint. It's unremarkable.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Graffiti Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend lost his job as a graffiti artist. To be fair, the writing has been on the wall for some time. Bought some graffiti proof paint. It’s unremarkable. I know a… Continue reading Graffiti Jokes

Lipstick Jokes

How do vampires fix their lipstick if they have no reflection?

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lipstick Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Misheard my friend when they asked for lipstick and passed a glue stick. Still not talking to me. A duck walks into a make up store and says “Give me a lipstick,… Continue reading Lipstick Jokes

Trailer Jokes

Always find it hard to rent a trailer. I've never managed it without a hitch.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of trailer Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a trailer filled with musicians with someone trying to fill up a car on it. I think they were trying to pump on the bandwagon. I haven’t seen that new film… Continue reading Trailer Jokes