Tag: humour

Olympics Jokes

I entered the seafood Olympics and got the Prawns Medal.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Olympics Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too much chance of a silver medal. Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze. A gymnast walks… Continue reading Olympics Jokes

Llama Jokes

Who is the most accomplished camel like composer? Llamadeus Mozart.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Llama Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Thought I’d called a major religious figure the other day and got sent a goat with an odd neck. Turned out I’d called Dial-A-Llama. I heard the famous Swedish band is going… Continue reading Llama Jokes

Part Jokes

I'm never complete my paintings. I have a black belt in partial arts.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Part Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My friend is in a competitive food making group. He makes honey, part of the bee team. My resolution is to travel about and plant horse chestnut trees everywhere. It’s part of… Continue reading Part Jokes

Silent Jokes

Auditioned for a role in a silent version of Oliver Twist and got it. It's brilliant, I can't ask for more.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Silent Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the p is silent. A friend of mine told me they wanted a ring. I told them to take their phone off… Continue reading Silent Jokes

Nettle Jokes

Local police have just planted a huge collection of nettles. They're going to be used in a sting operation.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nettle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I got stung by nettles recently. He over charged me for the full Bergerac VHS set. The most stinging plant based rock is Heavy Nettle. Someone asked me if I could prevent… Continue reading Nettle Jokes

Sand Jokes

My bucket list: sand, ice, water.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sand Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Asked in a record shop if they had anything by The Doors. Chap said “yes, a bucket of sand and a fire blanket”. I keep seeing jokes written on the beach. Think… Continue reading Sand Jokes

Carriage Jokes

Someone told me that getting a coach would improve my tennis. Now I've no idea what to do with this horse and carriage.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Carriage Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was driving down a road that was surfaced with emeralds, rubies and diamonds. I think it was a jewel carriageway. I wanted to learn to be a train mechanic, but I… Continue reading Carriage Jokes

Harp Jokes

Heard an easy listen strings version of Bonnie Tyler hits. It's totally clips of the harp.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Harp Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard a story about someone who crossed a panda with a harp, turned out to be a bear faced lyre. Saw an advert for a really quiet harp on eBay. No strings… Continue reading Harp Jokes

Thumb Jokes

Saw an architect dip his thumb in some navy coloured paint. Apparently he was trying to get a blueprint.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Thumb Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I spotted a new website all about hitch hiking. It’s got the thumbs up. I dislocated my thumb but two friends managed to reset it. It was a joint effort. A carpenter… Continue reading Thumb Jokes

Flip Jokes

I used to wonder who flipped a vampire's pancakes. Turns out it's Count Spatula.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Flip Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I met a really angry pancake earlier. He just flipped. A man with two left feet walks into a shoe shop and says, “Got any flip flips?” How do penguins make a… Continue reading Flip Jokes