Tag: puns

Lighthouse Jokes

The answer to "how many people does it take to change a lightbulb" depends on whether you are talking to a lighthouse keeper.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lighthouse Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got a friend who is a lighthouse keeper. Only does a token amount of ironing. I live in a lighthouse. It’s made of cardboard. My friend was sacked as a lighthouse keeper.… Continue reading Lighthouse Jokes

Crayon Jokes

I did a test once that involved playing darts with crayons. I passed with flying colours.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Crayon Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… You know I’m not good at make up when my favourite shade of lipstick is crayon. Friend of mine was feeling down, so I let them add some colour to my tattoos.… Continue reading Crayon Jokes

Elbow Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Elbow Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I asked for a tattoo of flames on from my wrist to my elbow but the artist didn’t have a fire arms certificate. Asked the surgeon if I would be able to… Continue reading Elbow Jokes

Search Jokes

I've stopped searching for an invisible dolphin. I just couldn't see the porpoise.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Search Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Police are searching for a gang who stole a series of ropes from the local toy shop. It’s believed they’ve skipped town. Someone has stolen the West Yorkshire Constabulary sat nav collection.… Continue reading Search Jokes

Credit Card Jokes

I wondered what credit card my local vicar used, then I realised it's PrayPal.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Credit Card Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Found out the best way to stop a bull charging in a China shop is to take away his credit card. Went to the bank and they told me they could… Continue reading Credit Card Jokes

Spy Jokes

Met Canada's top spy. Codename double eh seven.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Spy Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw James Bond in a field with a flock of sheep. Turns out he was a Shepherd Spy. What’s the best way to catch a spy bear? In a honey trap. Who… Continue reading Spy Jokes

Hope Jokes

Friend of mine keeps trying to paint black and white stripes on my back. Hope he stops badgering me.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hope Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw an animal running off with all the hope that was left. Think it was Pandora’s Fox Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is my guide through life. If in doubt, randomly eat and… Continue reading Hope Jokes

Bite Jokes

Someone seems to have been feasting on my laptop. They've taken a mega bite out of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bite Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Imagine being a vampire and losing your fangs so you can’t bite. That would just suck. A loose connection in my robot dog does more damage than it actually attacking anyone. It’s… Continue reading Bite Jokes

Scarf Jokes

Why was the hipster sweating? He wore a scarf long before it was cool.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scarf Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw Miami Sound Machine recently and one of them waved a blue & white hat and scarf. Must have been Gloria Leicesterfan. What did the scarf say to the hat? I’m going… Continue reading Scarf Jokes

Van Jokes

Offered to take Van Helsing for dinner. He said he wanted to go to a stake house.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Van Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge”.“What’s come over you…?”“Three cars, a van and a motorbike…” Really posh burger van here. It has four Michelin tyres. Asked the man in the ice… Continue reading Van Jokes