humour Archives : Page 2 of 16 : Puns And One Liners

Bone Jokes

The most musical parts of your skeleton are your trom-bones

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Yorkshire chap asks a goldsmith to make a statue of his dog. Goldsmith asks “Eighteen carat?”. He replies, “Nay, chewing a bone”. A friend of mine was destined to… Continue reading Bone Jokes

Dough Jokes

I asked Yoda what he recommended between the unbaked bread, the fried dessert, or the banoffee from the menu. He said "Dough or doughnut. There is no pie".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dough Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend uses electric dough to make bread. It’s not what he wants, it’s watt he kneads. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. I’ve… Continue reading Dough Jokes

Peg Jokes

with a drier sense of humour

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Peg Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. It was level pegging. Got camping insurance but apparently if someone steals my… Continue reading Peg Jokes

Submarine Jokes

unfortunately it went under

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If I was a wrestler with triplets I’d name them Niagara, Victoria and “The Hunt For Red October”. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Got a twelve inch… Continue reading Submarine Jokes

Stamp Jokes

It was a first class outfit

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Handle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What did the stamp say to the card? Stick with me and we’ll go places… Stamps. They sit in the corner and do nothing all day and somehow still… Continue reading Stamp Jokes

Message Jokes

Accordian to a recent scientific study inserting instruments into messages often goes unnoticed

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Message Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend had bred a messenger pigeon with a woodpecker. Not only does it deliver a message, it knocks the door when it gets there. Saw an ancient secret… Continue reading Message Jokes

Songwriter Jokes

Invested my royalties from writing songs for The Cult in an overseas animal hospital It is a Seychelles Sanctuary

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Songwriter Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I’ve entered a competition to write a song for Abba. There’s no second prize, the winner takes it all. There’s a photo of me writing a song for REM.… Continue reading Songwriter Jokes

Hail Jokes

Now I am a bit rusty

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hail Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s worse for traffic than when it’s foggy? When it’s hailing taxis. The most common weather report in the Roman empire? Hail, Caesar. There are hailstones the size of… Continue reading Hail Jokes

Nose Jokes

my eye jokes are cornea

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nose Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew. Entered a nose wiping competition but was disqualified. Can’t believe I blew it. I could tell… Continue reading Nose Jokes

Sloth Jokes

Id tell you a joke about a sloth crossing the road but it would take too long

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sloth Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I watched a gif of a sloth for three minutes yesterday before I realised it was an image. A scientist has managed to cross a sloth and a human.… Continue reading Sloth Jokes