Tag: humour

Surface Jokes

Heard about a performer who walks on water whilst singing opera songs. It's all about the surface aria.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Surface Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive. Went to my allotment recently and someone has added loads of mud… Continue reading Surface Jokes

Morse Code Jokes

Somebody asked me what represents S in morse code. I said…

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Morse Code Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s the longest morse code message? The 100 yard dash. Ok, got to go off and grow some hair on my upper lip. Must dash. When I was at the zoo,… Continue reading Morse Code Jokes

Sugar Jokes

I can use either hand to put sugar in my tea. I'm ambidextrose.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sugar Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?” A lorry load of strawberries has crashed… Continue reading Sugar Jokes

Hedgehog Jokes

What do Sonic the Hedgehog, Alexander the Great and Edward the Confessor have in common? Same middle name.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hedgehog Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a squirrel having a boxing match with a hedgehog in my garden. The hedgehog won on points. Was driving home the other evening, and my sat nav said “bear left”. It… Continue reading Hedgehog Jokes

Luck Jokes

I often say to myself, "what good luck that the cloning maching works".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Luck Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My Lucky Dip was full of bits of clay. Turned out I’d entered the National Pottery. Worried I couldn’t restore lost files from my laptop, but luckily I had a back up… Continue reading Luck Jokes

Tattoo Jokes

Friend of mine was feeling down, so I let them add some colour to my tattoos. They just wanted a shoulder to crayon.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tattoo Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Wish I’d never got a tattoo of a bonfire on my wrist. Loads of places won’t allow me in with fire arms. My parents disowned me for getting a tattoo of a… Continue reading Tattoo Jokes

Animal Vehicle Jokes

Mickey Mouse's helicopter is no use in Scotland. Disneyland.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Animal Vehicle Jokes, a request that’s come our way for a series of puns that involve animals and vehicles. Niche, we know. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, “how do… Continue reading Animal Vehicle Jokes

Monopoly Jokes

I was playing Bonopoly earlier. It's like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Monopoly Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Went to a Board Game themed Fancy Dress competition, but knew I wasn’t going to win with my incomplete Monopoly themed outfit. I had no chance. Or Community Chest. I went game… Continue reading Monopoly Jokes

Wedding Jokes

Of course, they're not called tears at a wedding. It's eye dew.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Wedding Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I went to a wedding that was so emotional that even the cake was in tiers… Went to a low bandwidth wedding recently. Awful reception. My microwave & freezer got married in… Continue reading Wedding Jokes

Label Jokes

A friend of mine taught me to label graphs. Legend.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Label Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I opened a new box of animal crackers the other day. It said on the label “don’t eat if seal is broken”. I checked the shapes, and it was. Delighted to finish… Continue reading Label Jokes

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