Tag: jokes

Chat Jokes

Saw a ray having a chat with a scuba diver. I think he wanted a manta-man conversation.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Chat Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I spotted a chap in a pub chatting up a cheetah. I thought “he’s trying to pull a fast one”… I went to a sea mammal themed fancy dress party as a… Continue reading Chat Jokes

History Jokes

"One more move and you're geography!" "Don't you mean history?" "Don't change the subject!"

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of History Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… The invention of the lock was a key turning point in history. Wearing my graduation gown and about to collect my history degree, I suddenly realised there was no future in it.… Continue reading History Jokes

Melon Jokes

Anyone who thinks that the only fruit or vegetable that can make you cry is an onion has never dropped a watermelon on their toe.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Melon Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A farmer I know uses his sheepdog to herd fruit. He’s a melon collie. Was going to run away and get married to a melon, but I couldn’t. It was a canteloupe.… Continue reading Melon Jokes

Beetroot Jokes

Little known fact, beetroot giggle when you touch them. They're picklish.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Beetroot Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s the square root of Minecraft? There are three; the potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots. Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can leave you in tears has never… Continue reading Beetroot Jokes

Toothpaste Jokes

What kind of tree does toothpaste grow on? Toiletries

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Toothpaste Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Felt sad when my tube of toothpaste ended up on the ground. Crest fallen. Jumped on the tube earlier. Got toothpaste everywhere. Went to see where toothpaste was invented. There was only… Continue reading Toothpaste Jokes

Speaker Jokes

How many motivational speakers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, change starts with you.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Speaker Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A public speaker told me he was going to complain about his function reservation being cancelled but he has no room to talk. Booked a motivational speaker, he turned up wearing a… Continue reading Speaker Jokes

Lighthouse Jokes

The answer to "how many people does it take to change a lightbulb" depends on whether you are talking to a lighthouse keeper.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lighthouse Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got a friend who is a lighthouse keeper. Only does a token amount of ironing. I live in a lighthouse. It’s made of cardboard. My friend was sacked as a lighthouse keeper.… Continue reading Lighthouse Jokes

Crayon Jokes

I did a test once that involved playing darts with crayons. I passed with flying colours.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Crayon Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… You know I’m not good at make up when my favourite shade of lipstick is crayon. Friend of mine was feeling down, so I let them add some colour to my tattoos.… Continue reading Crayon Jokes

Elbow Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Elbow Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I asked for a tattoo of flames on from my wrist to my elbow but the artist didn’t have a fire arms certificate. Asked the surgeon if I would be able to… Continue reading Elbow Jokes

Search Jokes

I've stopped searching for an invisible dolphin. I just couldn't see the porpoise.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Search Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Police are searching for a gang who stole a series of ropes from the local toy shop. It’s believed they’ve skipped town. Someone has stolen the West Yorkshire Constabulary sat nav collection.… Continue reading Search Jokes