jokes Archives : Puns And One Liners

Static Jokes

Really pleased to hear about the force inside an eggshell that holds it together. Egg static.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Static Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Do static caravans have a minimum charge? One cable says to another, “I’m so happy that I’ve finally got rid of that charge I was carrying. I’m ex-static”. Saw… Continue reading Static Jokes

Insurance Jokes

Hardly use my DeLorean, and the insurance quote was huge even though I told them I only drive it from time to time.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Insurance Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got camping insurance but apparently if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night I’m no longer covered. Do Transformers buy life insurance or car insurance? I… Continue reading Insurance Jokes

Mars Jokes

How to colonise Mars: :M:a:r:s:

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mars Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Opened a mars bar once. Discovered martians love gin. I’ve got two mars bars, three snickers, a twix and a flake. Somehow, I’m just not cut out to be… Continue reading Mars Jokes

Squeak Jokes

What goes snap, crackle and squeak? Mice Krispies.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Squeak Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Friend told me he had set up business washing mice and rats. Thought it was dodgy at first, then realised it was squeaky clean. Couldn’t find engine oil for… Continue reading Squeak Jokes

Swing Jokes

Friend of mine got a job designing swings and slides. He's a park-itect.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Swing Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was going to vote for better slides in parks in the local election, but unfortunately I live in a swing constituency. A friend used to swing across the… Continue reading Swing Jokes

Bone Jokes

The most musical parts of your skeleton are your trom-bones

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Yorkshire chap asks a goldsmith to make a statue of his dog. Goldsmith asks “Eighteen carat?”. He replies, “Nay, chewing a bone”. A friend of mine was destined to… Continue reading Bone Jokes

Dough Jokes

I asked Yoda what he recommended between the unbaked bread, the fried dessert, or the banoffee from the menu. He said "Dough or doughnut. There is no pie".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dough Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend uses electric dough to make bread. It’s not what he wants, it’s watt he kneads. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. I’ve… Continue reading Dough Jokes

Peg Jokes

with a drier sense of humour

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Peg Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. It was level pegging. Got camping insurance but apparently if someone steals my… Continue reading Peg Jokes

Submarine Jokes

unfortunately it went under

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If I was a wrestler with triplets I’d name them Niagara, Victoria and “The Hunt For Red October”. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Got a twelve inch… Continue reading Submarine Jokes

Stamp Jokes

It was a first class outfit

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Handle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What did the stamp say to the card? Stick with me and we’ll go places… Stamps. They sit in the corner and do nothing all day and somehow still… Continue reading Stamp Jokes