Tag: one-liners

Freezer Jokes

Put my freezer beside my fridge. They're chilling.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Freezer Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My microwave & freezer got married in a kitchen wedding. Who gave the speech? The toaster. Opened the freezer, there was some green ice cream in it. It was mint. I was… Continue reading Freezer Jokes

Cinnamon Jokes

I thought there was a different smell in my cupboard today, then I realised the nutmeg and cinnamon have been there for so long they've become Old Spice.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cinnamon Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Orange fizzy drinks are so much better when you put a piece of cinnamon into them. Fanta stick. Found a cinnamon stick who knew a lot about stocks and shares. Apparently it… Continue reading Cinnamon Jokes

Beach Jokes

Saw an omelette on a beach in California. Turned out to be a sandy eggo.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Beach Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I keep seeing jokes written on the beach. Think it’s the Comic Sands. I asked some rocks and pebbles on the beach how rough they were. The sand said it was fine.… Continue reading Beach Jokes

Thief Jokes

Met someone who keeps stealing liquorice. Takes all sorts.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Thief Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend has a trophy for being the “best thief”. Although he didn’t actually win the competition… Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was… Continue reading Thief Jokes

Letter Jokes

Applied to university for a degree in origami and got my acceptance letter today. I don't know what to make of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Letter Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… The word queue is just the letter q with a series of other letters waiting silently in a line. Applied to university for a degree in origami and got my acceptance letter… Continue reading Letter Jokes

Anorak Jokes

I saw a brachiosaurus in an anorak the other day. It was his Jurassic parka.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Anorak Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Bought my anorak in the south of France. It’s my Coat d’Azur. My favourite anorak is falling apart so I’m going to have to get rid of it. Or sew its seams…… Continue reading Anorak Jokes

Unicorn Jokes

Went to the doctor to get my flu shot and was surprised to see a horse with a horn waiting for his. Turned out he was an immunicorn.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Unicorn Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Thought I saw a horse with an antler, then I realised it was a unique horn. Never realised how hungry unicorns are. They eat like horses. My unicorn is a rubbish ballet… Continue reading Unicorn Jokes

Herd Jokes

I saw a herd of plastic antelope. Fake gnus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Herd Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… There’s a rumour about my group of cows that only eat small fruit. I herd it through the grape vine. Apparently now a herd of elephants have gone on strike. They are… Continue reading Herd Jokes

Sauce Jokes

I asked the flight attendant what sauce came with the spaghetti, but it was plane pasta.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sauce Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Walked into a business meeting the other week, put a kebab on the desk and said “we really have to think about strategy”. One of my colleagues asked “what’s with the kebab?”… Continue reading Sauce Jokes

Fizzy Jokes

A friend of mine works out how to make drinks more bubbly. He's a fizzicist.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Fizzy Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What is orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney at Christmas? Fanta Claus A friend of mine used to iron fizzy drinks. It was soda pressing. What is a frog’s favourite… Continue reading Fizzy Jokes