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Tag: one-liners

Scooby Doo Jokes

Got concerned when I saw Mystery Inc putting aluminum on my allotment. I think they were trying to foil my plot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scooby Doo Jokes, and come as a request. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Quiz time: name one of the biggest animals you might see on safari”.“Rhino!”“I know you do, Scooby, but give someone else a go this time”. Scooby… Continue reading Scooby Doo Jokes

Strike Jokes

Staff at the local laundrette have walked out half way through pressing my clothes. Apparently they believe in striking whilst the iron is hot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Strike Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Local amateur poultry team had their new star striker chicken banned. Apparently he was a professional fowl. “Three strikes and you’re out!” My bowling team doesn’t like show offs. Greek mythological team… Continue reading Strike Jokes

Sky Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sky Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Disappointed that the bank turned down a mortgage on a building for my Desserts by Drone business. They said it was just pie in the sky. I haven’t done sky diving yet,… Continue reading Sky Jokes

Tear Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tear Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… On eBay; “For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear & tear”. Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can leave you in tears has never dropped a turnip on their… Continue reading Tear Jokes

Surface Jokes

Heard about a performer who walks on water whilst singing opera songs. It's all about the surface aria.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Surface Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive. Went to my allotment recently and someone has added loads of mud… Continue reading Surface Jokes

Morse Code Jokes

Somebody asked me what represents S in morse code. I said…

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Morse Code Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s the longest morse code message? The 100 yard dash. Ok, got to go off and grow some hair on my upper lip. Must dash. When I was at the zoo,… Continue reading Morse Code Jokes

Sugar Jokes

I can use either hand to put sugar in my tea. I'm ambidextrose.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sugar Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?” A lorry load of strawberries has crashed… Continue reading Sugar Jokes

Hedgehog Jokes

What do Sonic the Hedgehog, Alexander the Great and Edward the Confessor have in common? Same middle name.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hedgehog Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a squirrel having a boxing match with a hedgehog in my garden. The hedgehog won on points. Was driving home the other evening, and my sat nav said “bear left”. It… Continue reading Hedgehog Jokes

Mud Jokes

Was out cycling and someone told me that one of my mud flaps had fallen off. I said I'd carry on rear guardless.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mud Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Went to Glastonbury once with a dull friend. They were a real stuck in the mud. I used to be addicted to mud wrestling but I’ve been clean for years now. Went… Continue reading Mud Jokes

Pub Jokes

I went to a pub called 'The Light Brigade' recently. They certainly knew how to charge.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Leg Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… and another page to come about the old “a [Insert Something Here] walks into a pub” jokes… I was in a pub the other night, and some bloke offered me eight legs… Continue reading Pub Jokes

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