Tag: one-liners

Pub Jokes

I went to a pub called 'The Light Brigade' recently. They certainly knew how to charge.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Leg Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… and another page to come about the old “a xxx walks into a pub” jokes…       I was in a pub the other night, and some bloke offered me eight… Continue reading Pub Jokes

Leg Jokes

I went to an archaeology party recently where they were only looking for remains of a lower leg. It was a shindig.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Leg Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What do you call a three legged horse? A Reliant Dobbin.   Went to see that new play, “Broken Leg” last night. The cast was amazing.   Was on… Continue reading Leg Jokes

Pickle Jokes

A lorry carrying brine has crashed on the motorway. Drivers are described as being in a bit of a pickle.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pickle Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I always confuse chutney and pickle. It makes me chuckle.   I saw a programme about how pickles are prepared. It was jarring.   I’m surrounded by pickled vegetables… Continue reading Pickle Jokes

Herb Jokes

Went to a restaurant the other night, asked for something herby. They gave me an old Volkswagen Beetle with no driver.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Herb Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Great to hear The Doctor’s new herb range has won awards. He is a Thyme Lord.   Thought I’d purchase a tall herb plant but actually turned out to… Continue reading Herb Jokes

Blanket Jokes

Friend is in a group called Blankets and Duvets. They're a cover band.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Blanket Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Thought it was going to be frosty so plugged my electric blanket in beside my toaster. I kept popping out of bed all night.   How do you make… Continue reading Blanket Jokes

Door Jokes

I used to work at a revolving door company. Then I thought, "this job is going nowhere fast".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Door Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel. I know it’s a funny place to have a door.   How do you know… Continue reading Door Jokes

Heart Jokes

Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology. It's totally clips of the heart.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Heart Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso. He didn’t put his heart into it.   Spotted in a lonely hearts ad: “Scrabble player looking… Continue reading Heart Jokes

Reflective Jokes

I'm not one to judge, but if you don't clean your mirrors, they reflect badly on you.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Reflective Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a reflective jacket. It sits in the corner and reads Descartes.   I held up my clock to a mirror. It was time for reflection.   On reflection,… Continue reading Reflective Jokes

Skate Jokes

Hipster friend of mine found out winter sports weren't for him. He went skating before it was cool.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Secret Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend offered me a go on his private ice rink for 50p. I thought “What a cheapskate”….   Was going to go ice skating without the skates but… Continue reading Skate Jokes

Secret Jokes

My secret is that I'm addicted to seaweed. I'm seeking kelp.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Secret Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How do you spot a secret agent? Give him measles.   Why do scarecrows find it hard to share secrets? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has… Continue reading Secret Jokes