Month: September 2014

Lion Jokes

Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn't all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion's share.

A collection of lion jokes this week, for no particular reason. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…       My lion impression went down well.  A roaring success.   I would tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but it’s Narnia business.  … Continue reading Lion Jokes

Bed Jokes

Not going to lie, my bed is broken.

This week’s collection of puns and one-liners take the form of bed jokes, for no particular reason. As normal, no guarantee of funniness or originality…   Heard a myth about a single bed placed on top of another one, and attached with a ladder. Fortunately, I was able to debunk it.   Not going to… Continue reading Bed Jokes

Fortune Teller Jokes

A friend started a career as a psychic, but gave it up. Couldn't see any future in it.

No particular reason for this week’s topic for the one liners and puns; here are some Fortune Teller jokes. Those with psychic powers might predict that these will not be either original or that funny… Two fortune tellers meet on the street. One says to the other, “You’re fine, how am I?” I saw a… Continue reading Fortune Teller Jokes

Milk Jokes

A friend told me that they were bathing in milk, almost totally immersed. I said, “Pasteurised?”, they said, “no, just to my chin”.

After last week’s cow jokes, a series of milk jokes seems to be the natural progression, although these may have gone beyond their best before date, and don’t expect them to be too funny or original. They are not the cream of the bunch…     A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham.… Continue reading Milk Jokes