Category: Randomness

Lego Jokes

Of course we don't refer to them as Lego Doctors. We call them Plastic Surgeons.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lego Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A lorry load of Lego bricks has overturned on the motorway. Police say they don’t know what to make of it. I’ve invented a boot made entirely out of Lego. When you… Continue reading Lego Jokes

Snowman Jokes

I saw a snowman playing Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me on the piano. Meltin' John.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Snowman Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Friend of mine got a yeti tattooed on his stomach. It’s his abdominal snowman. Was on a ship and spotted the Abominable Snowman in a uniform. Turns out he was their Chief… Continue reading Snowman Jokes

Mince Jokes

Ordered some ground beef but the delivery drivers are on strike. Some day my mince will come.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mince Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Told the doctor I had a mince pie growing out of my head. He said he had some cream for it. A mince pie walks into a bar. The barman says “sorry,… Continue reading Mince Jokes

Multiple Choice Jokes

Help me decide if I should set up a Victor Meldrew account on Twitter: a) Don’t b) Leave It

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Multiple Choice Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Help me decide if I should set up a Victor Meldrew account on Twitter:a) Don’tb) Leave It Really like someone but they just don’t know how to do multiple choice tests.… Continue reading Multiple Choice Jokes

Pain Jokes

Got a pain after eating some radioactive isotopes. Think I had atomic ache.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pain Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Tried to tell the doctor I’d hurt my hand opening French sparkling wine, he told me it was a sham pain. What causes the pain you get when you kick a rocket?… Continue reading Pain Jokes

Sticker Jokes

A neighbour has a sticker on their door saying "Do not ring the bell". Not sure why, just can't put my finger on it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sticker Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I completed my toasted sandwich sticker album earlier today. It’s by Panini. The word “fragile” gets thrown around a lot recently. Particularly when written on a sticker and attached to a checked… Continue reading Sticker Jokes

Wheel Jokes

I was going to buy a car with a transparent steering wheel until someone told me to steer clear.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Wheel Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I’m quite fair skinned. I’ve got tattoos of a merry-go-round, dodgems and a ferris wheel. What has three wheels and goes at speed along the river bed? A motorbike and side carp.… Continue reading Wheel Jokes

Rope Jokes

I'm struggling to get the slack out of a rope even after instruction. I guess some things just can't be taut.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Rope Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Local tightrope walker was unable to change his insurance because of his outstanding balance. Just joined the local church’s bell ringing group. They said they would show me the ropes. A friend… Continue reading Rope Jokes

Bang Jokes

I asked the scientist at the end of his talk what happened before the Big Bang. He said, "sorry, no time".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Bang Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Banged my head on a low bridge. Would have been ok if viaduct. My kettle is making banging sounds like thunder. I think a storm is brewing. I heard loud bangs coming… Continue reading Bang Jokes

Monster Jokes

There's a creature round here that keeps ringing doorbells. He's the knock less monster.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Monster Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got stuck for ages behind Satan in the queue at the Post Office. For the devil takes many forms. Going to make a film about a shark visiting a Scottish sea monster.… Continue reading Monster Jokes

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