This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tortoise Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
The police interviewed a sloth who was mugged by some tortoises. He said, “it all happened so quickly”.
I’ve discovered the secret of a long life. Be born as a giant tortoise.
Traffic jam caused by a lorry load of terrapins hitting a lorry load of tortoises. Turtle chaos.
Apparently turtles are good at undertanding puns. I wish they had tortoise that at school.
The most popular rock song among tortoises is Turtle Eclipse of the Heart
Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the Shell station.
What did the snail say sitting on the tortoise’s back? “Weeeee…!”
Why did the tortoise sign up for confidence classes? He needed help to come out of his shell.
My tortoise got a camera, now he’s a snapping turtle. He mainly takes shell-fies.
Why don’t you see many tortoises wearing scarves? They have turtlenecks.
If you like these tortoise jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.