tell you a joke about herbs and fish but this isn't the thyme or the plaice

Fish Jokes

Someone sent me some fish jokes this week, so it seemed a good choice for this week’s one liners, so here are some fish jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.




I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday.  He said he would have preferred a fish.


I walked into the fish shop and asked the man for a large fish.’Won’t be long’ said the fish shop man.’Well it better be wide then’ I said.


Why did the fish cross the road? Because he saw the pelican crossing.


Not so sure why everyone goes on about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day.


Couple of friends went to a shop selling half price flat fish. Cheap skates.


I’d tell you a joke about herbs and fish but this isn’t the thyme or the plaice.


I saw a singing fish once in the Choral Reef.


I went into a fish and chip shop the other day and said I’ll have fish and chips twice. The guy behind the counter said “I heard you the first time”.


Two fish in a tank. One says to the other “how do you drive this thing?”


What do you call a woman with a fish in her hair? Annette.


Saw a fish that keeps musical instruments working properly. He’s a piano tuna.


I’m in a fish based band. I play the bass.




Last week’s yellow jokes are here.

If you like these fish jokes, have a look over here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.