Category: 2016

Sandwich Jokes

Some friends are discussing the best way to make a toasted sandwich. I'm playing Breville's Advocate.

This week’s topic for one liners is sandwich jokes, so hopefully you will like the filling here.  As normal, they do not come with any guarantee of either originality or hilarity….       A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.   What is yellow and white and travels… Continue reading Sandwich Jokes

Glass Jokes

What do you call a woman who plays pool whilst balancing four pint glasses on her? Beatrix Potter.

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is glass jokes, which as normal come with no guarantee of humour or originality…       Saw a chess player snacking on crisps whilst drinking from an exotic looking glass. Pawn Cocktail.   A friend’s pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With… Continue reading Glass Jokes

Tent Jokes

You can't run through a camp site, only ran. It's past tents.

As the summer comes to an end and the onset of Autumn starts, here are a few tent jokes to reminisce about the summer. As normal don’t expect hilarity or originality.       Why are circus clowns often stressed? Because their job is in tents.   Local farmer helped me in to his field… Continue reading Tent Jokes

Pool Jokes

Took a dip in the local pool. The lifeguard said "what have you got there?" I said "hummus".

The topic for this week’s one liners is pool jokes, with the various meanings of the word pool included. As normal, they come with the warning that they may be neither hilarious or original…       I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep… Continue reading Pool Jokes

Trampoline Jokes

Met the chap who invented trampolining. Nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

This week’s topics for one liners is one that has its ups and downs, so here are some trampoline jokes.  As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       Been washing my trampoline. Seemed time to do some spring cleaning.   I have a phobia of trampolines.. I can’t help it, they… Continue reading Trampoline Jokes

Crisp Jokes

Created a totally new flavour of crisp. If it's successful, I'll make a packet.

As normal, the topic for this week’s one liners is from random conversations, and so here are some crisp jokes. Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.       I went into a shop and ask for some helicopter crisps. They didn’t have any, so I had some plain ones instead.   Saw a… Continue reading Crisp Jokes

Biscuit Jokes

Friend got sacked from his job at the Rich Tea factory. They said he took the biscuit.

We were playing Desert Island Biscuits this week – a bit like the better known Desert Island Discs, if you were stuck on a desert island and could take one type of biscuit with you, what would it be? – and it seemed a good topic for this week’s one liners, so here are some… Continue reading Biscuit Jokes

Rash Jokes

I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.

Another week when the topic for the one liners has come from my colleague Helen, so here are some rash jokes. As normal no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but luckily they are also not contagious…       I asked the doctor if he could cure my measles. He said he doesn’t make rash… Continue reading Rash Jokes

Ruler jokes

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

I was told a joke this week by my colleague Helen – but not the same Helen who came up with Swan Jokes – and so the topic for this week’s one liners is ruler jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I like jokes about stationery… Continue reading Ruler jokes

Cloud jokes

I connected my new phone to the cloud, then I had mist calls.

Looking out the window for inspiration for this week’s one liners, I’ve come up with the topic of cloud jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality with this collection of puns.       As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.   A Geordie chap walked into a hairdressers and asked… Continue reading Cloud jokes