The invite said to bring a bottle

Bottle Jokes

In the midst of the Christmas Party season, here are some Bottle Jokes. As normal they don’t come with any guarantee of hilarity or originality.




Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.


On a flight, off on holiday. The cabin crew member asked what I wanted to drink.
“A bottle of water”.
“Well, I haven’t changed my mind…”


A man walks into a library and asks for a bottle of water. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The man whispers “sorry, a bottle of water, please”.


Worried that the milk I bought this morning has come from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly the same as a bottle I bought yesterday.


Going to a recycling party this weekend. The invite said to bring a bottle.


I was in a shop the other day, and there was an empty tester bottle of perfume with a sign saying “out of odour”.


A man was hit in the face with a bottle of Omega 3 pills. He only suffered super fish oil injuries.


Sting has launched an aromatherapy range. It’s a massage in a bottle.


Asked a friend why he was staring at a bottle of orange juice. He replied that it said “concentrate” on it.


I call my friend “genie”. Every time I open a bottle, he appears.




Last week’s robot jokes are here.

If you like these bottle jokes, have a look over here for a list of joke topics.

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