Map Jokes

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is map jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… but hopefully they will help you find your way through.




I love my map. I’d be lost without it.


Yorkshire Constabulary have had all of their maps stolen. A spokesman said that they are searching for Leeds.


I bought a map from Bono. It’s rubbish. All the streets have no name, and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.


I got a pair of trousers with a map of the London Underground on them.  I’ve had to change twice already.


What do you use to find your way around Alcatraz? A con-tour map.


Why are maps like fish?  They both have scales.


Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker?  They always fold.


Heard about a spider cartographer.  He makes web-based maps.


Checked on the map as to what the name of the tributaries of the river in Egypt are called.  Juveniles.


A good geography teacher should never be able to tell a pupil to get lost.




Last week’s tooth jokes are here.

If you like these map jokes, there is an index of joke topics over here.