Tooth Jokes

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is tooth jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity….



I didn’t realise my uncle had a false tooth until it came out in conversation.


A friend of mine had a very successful round of golf, then went to let the dentist have a look at his teeth. He got a hole in one.


Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned…


How do you stop your mouth from freezing in the snow? Grit your teeth.


I knew a vampire who gave up acting because he couldn’t find a role he could get his teeth in to.


I know an elderly vampire. He’s quite long in the tooth.


A chap goes to the doctor and says “I keep seeing a werewolf, with big sharp teeth”. The doctor says, “have you seen a psychiatrist?” The man says “no, just a werewolf”.


My dentist isn’t very good as his job. The tooth hurts.


Why do we call them dental x-rays and not tooth pics?


Why do we say The Tooth Fairy and not The Grin Reaper?


Chipped a tooth earlier. No idea how it got on to the golf course.


Heard about someone addicted to eating sofas. He’s got a suite tooth.



Last week’s trouser jokes are here.


If you like these tooth jokes, there is an index of joke topics over here.