This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nut Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Did a great palindrome swap. A nut for a jar of tuna.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”.
I had to leave the hotel earlier when two grand masters arrived and started talking about their best tournaments. I can’t stand chess nut boasting in an open foyer.
A friend of mine has started the new trendy Squirrel Diet. It’s just nuts.
Saw a squirrel looking after the local store of winter nuts. He was the branch manager.
I’ve started using garlic in my magic act. I start by crushing it, adding some basil and pine nuts and then I blend them with some Parmesan and olive oil and, hey, pesto!
I’ve changed my password to Brazil_Nut to deter hackers. It’s hard to crack.
My resolution is to travel about and plant horse chestnut trees everywhere. It’s part of my plan to conker the nation.
Why was there peanut butter on the road? It went with the traffic jam.
Got myself a hazelnut chocolate sports car the other day. It’s a Ferrari Rocher.
If you like these nut jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.