This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Really don’t like it when someone jumps in the elevator and presses all the buttons. It’s wrong on so many levels.
Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team. It wasn’t easy, he had to jump through hoops to get it.
Met the chap who invented trampolining. Nice guy, but a bit jumpy.
Someone I know jumped off a bridge in Cairo. He was in denial…
Who is the hottest athlete in the team? The long jumper.
Saw a sticker in the sports shop saying “Trampolines Half Price”. I jumped on the offer.
Did I tell you the joke about the jump rope? Never mind, skip it.
Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads around his neck. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.
I saw a book called “Ten Steps To Improve Your Long Jump”. I thought, “that’s cheating”.
I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.
Why did the elephants jump in the lake? They had their trunks with them.
A friend of mine hurt himself trying to jump over a wall whilst dressed as a clown. It was his own stupid vault.
I have a phobia of trampolines.. I can’t help it, they just always make me jump!
Phoned the local aquarium, they asked me to shout “jump through this hoop!”. Apparently the call might be recorded for training porpoises.
If you like these jump jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.