Dessert Jokes

I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all £5 apart from one that was £10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said "that's maderia cake".

With one-liners on food and restaurants in recent weeks, desserts – as in cakes, not as in sand – seems to be the next logical topic, so please do enjoy.  They come with the normal guarantee of unoriginality and unfunniness….       I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop.… Continue reading Dessert Jokes

Restaurant Jokes

Local pizza place has made the country's biggest pizza base. I'd love to see someone top that.

After last week’s food jokes, the topic this week is restaurant jokes, which as normal, come with no guarantee of being funny or original.  In fact quite the opposite.  I hope you enjoy them… Out for dinner last night, I ordered from The Specials menu. Think I had Too Much Fu Yung. Went to a… Continue reading Restaurant Jokes

Food jokes

A friend makes smoothies that make me think heaven is a place on earth. Blender Carlisle.

This week’s topic of jokes for a Friday is food, always a popular choice, at least with me.  As normal, these food jokes may not be your “cup of tea”, and don’t expect too much originality or them to be that funny…       I had a pelican curry the other day. It tasted… Continue reading Food jokes

Dentist Jokes

A friend of mine won Dentist of the Year, and all he got was a little plaque.

The topic of this week’s bad jokes is dentists and dentistry, so if you like dentist jokes, keep reading. As usual, don’t expect any of them to be particularly original or funny…       A friend of mine won Dentist of the Year, and all he got was a little plaque.   Dentistry can… Continue reading Dentist Jokes

Music Jokes

I thought I heard Tubular Bells on my farm last Christmas, but it was just my cold field.

Following a request at a train station yesterday evening (really!), this week’s collection of not that funny or original puns and one liners is on the theme of music jokes….       U2’s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them. It certainly takes the Edge off them.   When The… Continue reading Music Jokes

Halloween Jokes

What do you do if zombies are attacking your house? Surround it with treadmills.

It’s 1st November, or All Saints’ Day, meaning that yesterday was Hallowe’en, so here are a few unoriginal and not that funny Halloween jokes that may give you more of a fright than a laugh…       I’ve noticed that ghosts in lifts always seem to be happy. I think it raises the spirits.… Continue reading Halloween Jokes

More Career Jokes

Quite difficult to get a job at Citroen. Had to send them 2 CVs.

This week’s joke theme is jobs, following on from this page, so here are some more career jokes for you.  Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity…       I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.   Quite difficult to get a job at Citroen. Had to send them 2… Continue reading More Career Jokes

Cheese Jokes

I saw a toddler with a tiny Edam strapped to his bike. Must have been his baby bell.

As the weekly joke updates recently have taken a theme, it seemed only right that the cheesey jokes should have a week where the subject was actually cheese jokes, and here it is. I normally comment that you should not expect the jokes to be particularly funny or original, and that is particularly true of… Continue reading Cheese Jokes

Sports Jokes

If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". Or, two falls and a sub mission.

In keeping with recent joke updates having a theme, as per a request from Kevin, here are a series of sports jokes. As normal, don’t expect them to be original, or for that matter, terrifically funny….     Local tennis club’s website is down.  I think they are having problems with their server.   No… Continue reading Sports Jokes

Salad Jokes

One of the issues with making salad is bland lettuce. It's a problem that needs addressing.

Following on from last two weeks’ themed jokes, at Kevin’s request, I thought that this week could follow the same idea, but making use of my sister in law, Hannah’s joke from last week which made me chuckle, so here are some salad jokes. An unusual option, I know… ..and there is a joke linking… Continue reading Salad Jokes