This week’s series of one-liners and puns takes the form of horse jokes. They, as ever, come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…
Got annoyed when I found out someone had used my raw materials for a new scarecrow to feed their horse. That was the last straw.
What do you call a three legged horse? A Reliant Dobbin.
A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”.
A friend has a horse which will only come out after dark. It’s a nightmare.
A pony near here has a sore throat. He’s a little hoarse.
I saw a horse in a wild west show that glowed in the dark once. Think he was rodeo active.
What’s a horse’s favourite TV soap opera? Neighbours…
Think the local police horse has a dodgy shoe. It’s going good clop, bad clop.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof.
Keep trying to convince my horse not to make so much noise when pulling a farm vehicle. It’s not the whinnying, it’s the taking cart.
I had a job as part of a pantomime horse team once, but I quit when I was a head.
My horse is a rubbish dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
Recently bought a shire horse. My existing horse was too outgoing.
A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”.
Two horses I know have been an item for ages. They are in a stable relationship.
Last week’s plane jokes are here.
If you like these horse jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.