Horse Jokes

This week’s series of one-liners and puns takes the form of horse jokes.  They, as ever, come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…



Got annoyed when I found out someone had used my raw materials for a new scarecrow to feed their horse. That was the last straw.


What do you call a three legged horse?  A Reliant Dobbin.


A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage.  The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”.


A friend has a horse which will only come out after dark.  It’s a nightmare.


A pony near here has a sore throat.  He’s a little hoarse.


I saw a horse in a wild west show that glowed in the dark once.  Think he was rodeo active.


What’s a horse’s favourite TV soap opera?  Neighbours…


Think the local police horse has a dodgy shoe.  It’s going good clop, bad clop.


How do you hire a horse?  Put a brick under each hoof.


Keep trying to convince my horse not to make so much noise when pulling a farm vehicle.  It’s not the whinnying, it’s the taking cart.


I had a job as part of a pantomime horse team once, but I quit when I was a head.


My horse is a rubbish dancer.  I think he’s got two left feet.


Recently bought a shire horse.  My existing horse was too outgoing.


A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”.


Two horses I know have been an item for ages.  They are in a stable relationship.



Last week’s plane jokes are here.

If you like these horse jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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