Holiday Jokes

Going for a budget version of a holiday to Derbyshire this year. Staying in the Off Peak District.

This week’s collection of bad puns and one-liners takes the form of holiday jokes, or at least some puns about travel and destinations. I do hope that you enjoy… Of course, they come with the usual caveats of no guarantee of funniness or originality.       Saw the world’s biggest fan last week. It… Continue reading Holiday Jokes

Colour Jokes

I went to the doctor and said "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". He said "It's just a pigment of your imagination"

Happy Friday everyone (if you are reading this on a Friday).  The topic of this week’s puns and one-liners is colour jokes, and I hope that you enjoy this collection of colourful comments and witticisms.  As always, no guarantee of originality or funniness…       I went to the doctor and said “I keep… Continue reading Colour Jokes

Cow Jokes

Why do cows have hooves rather than feet? Because they lactose.

For some bizarre reason, cows have been quite a theme for me this week, and as such, the appropriate theme for this week’s puns seemed to be cow jokes. I had a relatively recent encounter with some cows, there are some details here.   These come as always with no guarantee of funniness or originality…… Continue reading Cow Jokes

Hairdresser Jokes

I like watching football matches when I'm at the hairdressers. The coverage is the same but the highlights are better.

I had a look at what searches commonly bring people to this site, and one of the most popular is – oddly enough – hairdresser jokes, so I thought it was time to add some hairdresser jokes, puns and one-liners, although this list includes lines about hair, and a lack of hair.  If you are… Continue reading Hairdresser Jokes

Accent Jokes

Jousting. What a Brummie asks a bee.

These series of puns and one-liners are accent jokes, and specifically, British accent jokes, so they may not travel so well beyond that.  If you find yourself scratching your head wondering why it should be funny, then try it in the relevant accent.  If that doesn’t work, comment below and I will try to explain.… Continue reading Accent Jokes

Valentine’s Day Jokes

I was arguing with a girlfriend in a restaurant once when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.

The more astute of you may have spotted that today is 14th February, and therefore today’s topics for one-liners and puns is Valentine’s Day jokes, although these are probably not the best way to foster romance. They do, of course, come with the usual caveats with no guarantee of being either funny or original.  … Continue reading Valentine’s Day Jokes

Fancy Dress Jokes

I was about to go to a fancy dress party as a can of deodorant. My wife stopped me and said "Are you Sure?"

The theme for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is Fancy Dress Jokes, which come with the normal caveats that these may be neither funny nor original. I hope that you enjoy them anyway….       Just been let down by the people who work at the fancy dress shop after I tried… Continue reading Fancy Dress Jokes

Shopping Jokes

I walked into the fish shop and asked the man for a large fish.'Won't be long' said the fish shop man.'Well it better be wide then' I said.

The topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is Shopping Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope that you enjoy them anyway….       Friend of mine got drunk and went to an auction. He doesn’t remember a lot.   Ever since buying… Continue reading Shopping Jokes

Dog Jokes

I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dog Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.   Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team. It wasn’t easy,… Continue reading Dog Jokes

Money Jokes

Pigeons must be wealthy. They have no problem putting deposits on expensive cars.

The theme of this week’s one-liners and puns is money jokes, which come with the normal caveats of not to expect them to be either too funny or too original.  I hope you enjoy them anyway….       When is it most likely to rain money? When there is change in the weather…  … Continue reading Money Jokes