For those who are not aware, today is National Christmas Jumper Day (yes, there is such a thing), so it seems appropriate that the theme this week for the collection of puns and one-liners should be jumper jokes. Just like all good Christmas pullovers, most of these are not particularly original or funny. It may be almost Christmas, but it may be a bit much to expect a Ho Ho Ho response… I hope that you enjoy them.
A police officer spotted a man driving along the motorway whilst knitting. He got his attention and shouted “pull over!”. The man looked back and said “well, I think of it more as a jumper”.
A friend of mine has a new Italian jumper. I know it’s Italian as he’s spilt spaghetti bolognese all down it.
Tried to buy a camouflage jumper the other week, but I couldn’t find any.
Why do bears have fur coats? Because they’d look silly in fluffy jumpers.
A friend of mine loses his cool every time he tries to arrange his jumpers in the wardrobe. I think he needs some help with hanger management.
Someone around here has been stealing jumpers in order of size. Police say he’s still at large.
The most impressive thing about it taking twelve sheep to make a jumper is that I didn’t know they could knit at all.
What do you call a man with a family of rabbits up his jumper? Warren.
The jumper I got for Christmas kept picking up static electricity so I’m going to take it back to the shop and get it exchanged it for another one free of charge…
Of course, no such list is complete without the Christmas Cracker Classic… What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper…
Last week’s dessert jokes are here.
The following week’s Christmas Cracker jokes are here.
If you like these Christmas Jumper jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.