Guide Dogs Welcome

Sign Jokes

Welcome to the first series of jokes for 2014.  After a few weeks of jokes about Christmas, and related topics like Christmas Crackers and jumpers, a new subject this week.   Here are some sign jokes, although do not expect the New Year to have brought a new quality of jokes, or any originality or more funniness.  I hope they raise at least a few groans anyway…  and a Happy New Year to you all. And you might like this story about signs.




Really nice car park here. The sign says “You will be charged after 2 hours”. Very kind, I thought, as I parked my electric car.


I saw a transparent billboard yesterday. I thought to myself, “That’s a clear sign”.


Police have arrested a man on suspicion of stealing a sign saying “and Emergency”. He claims he found it by Accident.


I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it. I guess that’s a sign of the times.


I saw a billboard this morning that said ‘Future Events’. I thought ”That’s a sign of things to come”.


I was driving to work this morning when I saw a sign saying ‘Low Trees’. So I stopped, got out and gave one a cuddle.


I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in, then was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat


Walked by a rehab centre the other day. The sign on the lawn said “keep off the grass”.


I was in a shop the other day, and there was an empty tester bottle of perfume with a sign saying “out of odour”.


I was driving along this lovely lane when I saw a sign saying “Man digging road”. I thought, “It’s cool, I’m digging it too, man”.




Last week’s Christmas Cracker jokes are here.

The following week’s Time jokes are here.


If you like these sign jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.

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