blender carlisle

Food jokes

This week’s topic of jokes for a Friday is food, always a popular choice, at least with me.  As normal, these food jokes may not be your “cup of tea”, and don’t expect too much originality or them to be that funny…




I had a pelican curry the other day. It tasted OK, but the bill was enormous.


My local florist isn’t into butter. They’re not interflora either.


I walked into the fish shop and asked the man for a large fish.’Won’t be long’ said the fish shop man.’Well it better be wide then’ I said.


A friend of mine has a vegetable patch. It stops the cravings for carrots all day.


A friend is making me a burger for dinner. I’m relishing it.


A friend makes smoothies that make me think heaven is a place on earth.  Blender Carlisle.


Saw a hen staring at a lettuce and a tomato. Chicken sees a salad.


Who is the saddest person in the pasta factory? The chap who’s filling cannelloni.


Friends are debating best way to make a toasted sandwich. Am playing Breville’s advocate.


You know what’s hard to beat? Boiled eggs.


Partridge jam: the preserve of the upper classes.


The best way to stop sandwiches from curling is to hide their brushes.


The great thing about my obsession with toast is that I still get three square meals a day.


I went to a butcher’s shop the other day and said “Do you keep dripping?” He replied “Yes, it’s very embarrassing”.


I was in a pub the other night, and some bloke offered me eight legs of venison for £200. I said “£200? That’s too dear”….


Not so sure why everyone goes on about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day.


I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.




Last week’s jokes – where the topic was dentists – are here.

The next week’s jokes – where the topic is restaurants – are here.

If you like these food jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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