Restaurant Jokes

Local pizza place has made the country's biggest pizza base. I'd love to see someone top that.
Local pizza place has made the country's biggest pizza base. I'd love to see someone top that.

After last week’s food jokes, the topic this week is restaurant jokes, which as normal, come with no guarantee of being funny or original.  In fact quite the opposite.  I hope you enjoy them…

Out for dinner last night, I ordered from The Specials menu. Think I had Too Much Fu Yung.

Went to a restaurant last night with my wife. Chap said “Do you have reservations?”. I said “Yes, the food is probably overcooked and bland”.

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the airport terminal. I don’t think it will take off.

Asked in a local restaurant how they prepare their chickens. Chap said “We just tell them straight that they’re going to die”.

Phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two.  Chap said I had the wrong number so asked for a table for four instead.

Was in the pub the other day, and had a ploughman’s lunch. He wasn’t happy.

Got a nice German Christmas cake, but can’t find it now. It’s stollen.

I called a local restaurant the other night and said, “Do you do takeaways?” They said “Yes”, so I said “what’s 23452 minus 345?”

There’s a new pizza shop here called Good King Wenceslas. All their pizzas are deep pan, crisp and even.

Stayed in an Elvis themed hotel. The restaurant is for people who Love Meat Tender.

Local pizza place has made the country’s biggest pizza base. I’d love to see someone top that.

How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away his seat.

I was in the local Karma Restaurant the other night.  No main courses on the menu.  Just desserts.

I was out for a curry the other night, and I ordered my naan bread. I don’t know why, she doesn’t even like it.

Having a curry with another friend who can’t eat rice. He’s basmatic.

I always confuse chutney and pickle. It makes me chuckle.

Last week’s food jokes are here.

The following week’s Dessert Jokes are here.

If you like these restaurant jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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