This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Rug Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I got 20% off at the local carpet shop. I’m going to have to buy a big rug now to cover that bit.
What did the rug say to the floor? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.
I told the carpeter not to put a rug on my steps, he gave me a blank stair.
90s band The Verve told me they wanted to carpet their whole room. Apprently the rugs don’t work.
Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets and the bath mats. Police think it was the work of rug addicts.
What insect lives in your mats and is good at scoring tries? The Rug Bee.
My rug was so well behaved on our recent road trip. It’s the perfect car pet.
Tried to speed up my magic carpet for the big race but was told I couldn’t use performance enhancing rugs.
Was in an embassy and saw a rug made of large pieces of lego. It was a Duplo Mat.
What do you call someone who lies on the floor and pretends he’s a rug? Mat.
If you like these rug jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.