This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Button Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Pressed the Hammer Function button on my new drill, and it keeps playing “You can’t touch this”.
Not to say I’m out of date, but I just spent half an hour trying to find the eject button after watching a video on YouTube.
I was shopping online and saw a horse a liked, so I clicked on the “add to cart” button.
A teacher asks the class, “Can you use a sentence with the word ‘fascinate’..?” One of the pupils replies, “I have a shirt with ten buttons but I can only fascinate”.
Bought a new television remote control with fifty buttons. I was quite surprised they allowed me to pay with buttons.
Do you think Dracula spends a lot of time online shopping, and keeps clicking on the button that says “Your Account”?
Couldn’t open the buttons on my new jumper and got it stuck trying to take it off. I’ve ended up in hospital seeing the cardy-ologist.
Really don’t like it when someone jumps in the elevator and presses all the buttons. It’s wrong on so many levels.
I used to wonder where they stored spare belly buttons, then I realised it’s in the Naval Reserve.
I saw a model railway made out of broken buttons. It was an ex-press train.
If you like these button jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
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