This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Knitting Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A friend with knitting needles told me he has a pattern for sunglasses. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
A police officer spotted a man driving along the motorway with knitting needles. He got his attention and shouted “pull over!”. The man looked back and said “well, I think of it more as a jumper”.
The most impressive thing about it taking twelve sheep to make a jumper is that I didn’t know they could knit.
Someone locally keeps going around and stealing people’s knitting. Police think he is following a pattern.
A group of friends with needles are part of a clothes knit community.
Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep loosing their needles…
Had a nightmare, dreamt I was knitting a fridge. Woke up in a cold sweater.
I’m not very good at knitting. Oh, sorry, wrong thread.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a porcupine? Something that can knit its own jumpers.
Had to get my knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.
If you like these knitting jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.