Knitting Jokes

Had to get my knitting needles fixed. They just didn't seam right.
Had to get my knitting needles fixed. They just didn't seam right.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Knitting Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

A friend with knitting needles told me he has a pattern for sunglasses. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes.

A police officer spotted a man driving along the motorway with knitting needles. He got his attention and shouted “pull over!”. The man looked back and said “well, I think of it more as a jumper”.

The most impressive thing about it taking twelve sheep to make a jumper is that I didn’t know they could knit.

Someone locally keeps going around and stealing people’s knitting. Police think he is following a pattern.

A group of friends with needles are part of a clothes knit community.

Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep loosing their needles…

Had a nightmare, dreamt I was knitting a fridge. Woke up in a cold sweater.

I’m not very good at knitting. Oh, sorry, wrong thread.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a porcupine? Something that can knit its own jumpers.

Had to get my knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.

If you like these knitting jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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