Hammer Jokes

A friend of mine is like lightening when hammering nails into his fence. He never strikes the same place twice.
A friend of mine is like lightening when hammering nails into his fence. He never strikes the same place twice.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hammer Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

I hate going to MC Hammer’s house. He wont let me touch anything.

I’ve started this new fad diet. You have to hit garden buildings with a hammer. I’m just looking to pound a few sheds.

Saw an argument between a carpenter and a hairdresser. They were going at it hammer and tongs.

A friend of mine is like lightening when hammering nails into his fence. He never strikes the same place twice.

I introduced a friend to my hammer, my chisel and my saw. He knows the drill.

I found out who takes the hammers, nails, and similar tools to work. The screw driver.

I asked a friend if he could answer my question about a carpentry problem. He hit the nail on the head.

Went to the DIY shop the other week and asked in which section I could find hammers, bricks and tiles. The chap said they were under Construction. I asked when they would be finished…

The jackhammer was such a groundbreaking invention.

Pressed the Hammer Function button on my new drill, and it keeps playing “You can’t touch this”.

If you like these hammer jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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