This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hammer Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I hate going to MC Hammer’s house. He wont let me touch anything.
I’ve started this new fad diet. You have to hit garden buildings with a hammer. I’m just looking to pound a few sheds.
Saw an argument between a carpenter and a hairdresser. They were going at it hammer and tongs.
A friend of mine is like lightening when hammering nails into his fence. He never strikes the same place twice.
I introduced a friend to my hammer, my chisel and my saw. He knows the drill.
I found out who takes the hammers, nails, and similar tools to work. The screw driver.
I asked a friend if he could answer my question about a carpentry problem. He hit the nail on the head.
Went to the DIY shop the other week and asked in which section I could find hammers, bricks and tiles. The chap said they were under Construction. I asked when they would be finished…
The jackhammer was such a groundbreaking invention.
Pressed the Hammer Function button on my new drill, and it keeps playing “You can’t touch this”.
If you like these hammer jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.