This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Election Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I was going to vote for better slides in parks in the local election, but unfortunately I live in a swing constituency.
Weird election result where everyone has to say “aaah” like they’re at the doctor. It’s a tongue parliament.
There’s an election among the aristocrats this week. Every count votes.
Where do polar bears go to vote? The North Poll.
The scissors were going to stand for president of the stationery cupboard, but they couldn’t find anyone to run with them.
Breaking news is that the CEO of a furniture company has just been elected president. He’s now going to assemble his cabinet…
Local bees are voting. They’re all heading to the pollen station.
The difference between a democracy and the area around Dracula’s castle is that in one your vote counts, in the other, your Count votes.
In horse elections, voters are often looking for a stable government.
I met a candidate from the Bicycle Party recently. He was their spokesman.
If you like these election jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.