This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cinema Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Only films I’ve seen at the cinema are Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October and U571. I only go for subtitles.
Went to the cinema to see a film about playing chess in a lift. The Dark Knight Rises.
What sort of cinemas do seals go to? Dive ins.
A chap sees a mouse sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The mouse says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Went to the cinema the other night to watch that new film about cheese. It was G rated.
Was watching a film last night and paused it whilst I made a cup of tea. Got sacked as a cinema projectionist.
If I had a pound for every time I complained about the price of food in cinemas, I could almost afford a small popcorn.
Told the doctor that I kept thinking I worked at a cinema. He told me I was just projecting.
Why did the polar bear go to the cinema? He wanted to get into snow business.
I tried to sneak my own popcorn into the cinema but they wouldn’t let me use their microwave.
If you like these cinema jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.