This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Burns Night Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Was trying to come up with my own recipe for haggis, but I’m not sure what it entrails.
I was going to make a haggis, but I didn’t have the stomach for it…
I call my mate The Exorcist. Every time I invite him round for Burns Supper, the spirits disappear.
My local hospital has an area where people very earnestly read Auld Lang Syne and similar poems. It’s the Serious Burns Unit.
A friend of mine is such a patriotic Scot that he burns supper every evening.
Robert Burns walks into a bar and ask for a whisky. The barman says “I’m afraid I can’t serve you, you’re bard”.
Was given haggis as an in flight meal once. I’ve had bad food before, but that was plane offal.
My resolution is to cure my fear of New Year and get over my Auld Langxiety.
A haggis, neeps and tatties walk into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.
If you like these Burns Night jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.