Dalek Apples

Apple Jokes

This week’s collection of one liners takes the form of apple jokes. We have had various fruits and vegetables as the topic before, so this time it’s the turn of the ever popular apple.  Some may be rather similar to other fruit based jokes. They come as normal with no guarantee of humour or originality…




I have a Blackberry and an Apple, both on Orange. Got a bit of a thing about making sculptures out of fruit.


Went to the shop today to buy some lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.


How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.


Who is an apple’s favourite pop singer? Katy Peary.


If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, why don’t Daleks hide in orchards?


I wondered if Noah liked apples, then I realised he preferred pears.


What do you call an apple who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.


Following a recipe, says I need: apples, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of apples for a pie…


An apple growing friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.




Last week’s cricket jokes are here.

If you like these apple jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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