it said no matches found

Candle Jokes

I was looking around the room for a topic for this week’s one liners, and spotted a candle, so here are some candle jokes. Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity…




Candle wax. It gets on my wick.


When Joseph Swan thought of the light bulb, did a candle appear above his head..?


Burnt the candle at both ends once. Didn’t do wonders for the cake.


Bought a friend a candle extinguisher. He was de-lighted.


You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.


Most stressful thing about being a dragon: trying to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.


How do you make a candle burn longer? You can’t, they burn shorter.


I’m a big fan of candle holders. Or birthday cakes, as I call them.


Searched on eBay for something to light my candle. It said “no matches found”.


My local football team have lost more matches than me trying to light a candle in the dark.




Last week’s apple jokes are here.

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