Lift a finger

Cricket Jokes

Both of the Ashes series – for male and female cricketers – are under way keeping the England and Australia teams busy, so the topic of this week’s one liners is cricket jokes. As normal, they may not be the funniest or most original…




Which birds are rubbish at cricket? Ducks.


A friend of mine is a retired cricket umpire. He doesn’t lift a finger now.


I kept wondering why the cricket ball was getting bigger and bigger.  Then it hit me.


Why do cricket grounds have floodlights? Because bats at nocturnal.


Why are cricket grounds so cool? They are full of fans.


Why did the cricket team stop smoking? They lost all their matches.


Friend was told her new boyfriend was a good catch. Didn’t realise that meant he was the best fielder in the team.


What’s the difference between a poor cricketer and Cinderella? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.


A chap goes to see the doctor. “You’ve got to help me,” he said. “I think I’m a cricket ball.” “How’s that?” says the doctor. The man replies, “Don’t you start …”


Local cricket team were going on an exotic tour but didn’t need any jabs from the doctor. They never catch anything.


Saw eleven flies practicing fielding in a saucer earlier. They’re playing in the cup at the weekend.


Who won when the Pencil Cricket Club played the Pen Cricket Club? Neither, it was a draw.


Saw a series of insects dancing on a sports field. It was a cricket ball.




Last week’s ice cream jokes are here.

If you like these cricket jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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