Tag: witty

Slice Jokes

Someone told me about a way to lose weight by putting slices of bread on my head. It's a loaf hat diet.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Slice Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I saw some cheese that refused to be sliced as it had greater plans… Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard. Chap goes to collect his pizza and asks if… Continue reading Slice Jokes

Weigh Jokes

A friend of mine has set up a new business weighing nano objects. It's a small scale set up.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Weigh Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A fish may be easy to weigh because it comes with scales, but whales are more complicated. You need to take them to a whale weigh station. How do you work out… Continue reading Weigh Jokes

Palindrome Jokes

Racecar backwards is still racecar. Racecar upside down is expensive.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Palindrome Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A Santa at NASA has won top spot at this year’s Christmas palindrome award. Top resarch scientist in palindromes is Dr Awkward. The prizes from the Palindrome Awards come from the Reward… Continue reading Palindrome Jokes

Tongue Jokes

There's a new TV programme where people make funny shapes with their mouths and are judged. Strictly Tongue Dancing.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tongue Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My favourite thing about tongue twisters? Hard to say… Singing in the shower is great until you get shampoo on your tongue. Then it’s more of a soap opera. Tried some odd… Continue reading Tongue Jokes

Finger Jokes

Most reliable body part? You can always count on your fingers.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Finger Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A few people were mean to me about choosing to wear mittens instead of gloves, but I don’t like to point fingers. Looking for ways to keep my hands warm in fingerless… Continue reading Finger Jokes

Parade Jokes

I did a survey on how drunk people act at parades. The results are staggering.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Parade Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A anaesthetist friend of mine has just passed his exams. Next he has a passing out parade. We should have a National Parades Day, and it should be March Fourth. What phrase… Continue reading Parade Jokes

Origami Jokes

Local origami shop is getting busier and busier. They told me their business is in creasing.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Origami Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Flicking through the channels, I spotted the World Origami Championships, but it was paper view. A friend stopped his origami classes because there was too much paperwork. Joined the National Origami Society,… Continue reading Origami Jokes

Scooby Doo Jokes

Got concerned when I saw Mystery Inc putting aluminum on my allotment. I think they were trying to foil my plot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scooby Doo Jokes, and come as a request. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Quiz time: name one of the biggest animals you might see on safari”.“Rhino!”“I know you do, Scooby, but give someone else a go this time”. Scooby… Continue reading Scooby Doo Jokes

Strike Jokes

Staff at the local laundrette have walked out half way through pressing my clothes. Apparently they believe in striking whilst the iron is hot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Strike Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Local amateur poultry team had their new star striker chicken banned. Apparently he was a professional fowl. “Three strikes and you’re out!” My bowling team doesn’t like show offs. Greek mythological team… Continue reading Strike Jokes

Sky Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sky Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Disappointed that the bank turned down a mortgage on a building for my Desserts by Drone business. They said it was just pie in the sky. I haven’t done sky diving yet,… Continue reading Sky Jokes