This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Slice Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I saw some cheese that refused to be sliced as it had greater plans…
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Chap goes to collect his pizza and asks if he wants it cut into six or twelve slices. “Six”, he says, “I could never eat twelve”.
I was going to put my slices of meat on the top shelf of the fridge but the steaks were too high.
Got a slice of a nice German Christmas cake in the local cafe, but can’t find it now. It’s stollen.
I was told my cooking was awful, just as I was serving up another slice of gravy.
Someone told me about a way to lose weight by putting slices of bread on my head. It’s a loaf hat diet.
“There’s a hole in my slice of cheese!”
“Just don’t eat that bit”.
How lovey, I saw two insects sharing a slice of pizza in the Italian capital. Rome ants.
Lost my restaurant job because I couldn’t slice the condiments properly. I just didn’t cut the mustard.
If you like these slice jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.