Apple Jokes

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, why don't Daleks hide in orchards?

This week’s collection of one liners takes the form of apple jokes. We have had various fruits and vegetables as the topic before, so this time it’s the turn of the ever popular apple.  Some may be rather similar to other fruit based jokes. They come as normal with no guarantee of humour or originality…… Continue reading Apple Jokes

Addiction Jokes

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

It has been pointed out that, given the number of motor racing events that I have been to recently, perhaps I am at least a little bit addicted to the sport. So, it seemed that addiction jokes were as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners. As normal, they come… Continue reading Addiction Jokes

Fast Jokes

Which part of Scotland was also Formula One World Champion? Ayr Town Centre.

This weekend sees the Goodwood Festival of Speed, followed by the British Grand Prix next weekend, so here is a series of speedy one liners on the topic of fast jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be in pole position in the originality or hilarity stakes…       I saw a chap chatting… Continue reading Fast Jokes

Window Jokes

I wrote a story once about a broken window. It's saved in my drafts.

I was looking out the window thinking about the topic for this week’s puns and one liners, so the idea of window jokes seemed as good as any. As normal, don’t expect these to be too funny or original, and you might see right through them…       Heard that burglars used a potato… Continue reading Window Jokes

Spot Jokes

A friend has an illness that's given him a fever and a rash. At least his wifi is better with all the hot spots.

We’ve had a chickenpox outbreak at home, although thankfully I’ve been spared (so far), but as I’ve been thinking about rashes and illness this week, here are a series of spot jokes. Of course, the humour from these jokes may not be infectious, and you may well have heard them before…       I… Continue reading Spot Jokes

Seal Jokes

Why are seals good at motor racing? Because they are often in pole position.

Someone told me a joke this week about a seal, so it seemed as good a topic as any, so here are some seal jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality. The joke that I was actually told was too visual to explain here, so here are a few more instead…… Continue reading Seal Jokes

Fence Jokes

It was a bit of a shock when I found out my friend had put an electric fence around his house.

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is fence jokes, for no particular reason. As normal, they don’t come with any guarantee of funniness or originality…         A local farmer added a step to get over his fence into his field. I like his stile.   It was… Continue reading Fence Jokes

Onion Jokes

Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile? In case Mr Onion Rings.

There have been some odd topics for pages of one liners, and this one falls in that category.  Here are some onion jokes.  Hopefully the only tears will be of laughter.  Don’t, though, expect too much hilarity or originality….       “Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.   I… Continue reading Onion Jokes

Television Jokes

Saw a 70s television programme about two detectives who solve crimes over the phone. Star Key and Hash.

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is television jokes. Here they are, with the normal no guarantee of funniness or originality…  Although thankfully there aren’t too many repeats on this.       You never see King Edwards or Jersey Royals presenting sport on TV. Only Common Taters.   What does Dr… Continue reading Television Jokes

Spring Jokes

I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It's a spring onion.

After a wet start to last weekend, the weather changed and by Easter Monday the sun was shining, which has continued this week, so it seems as good a time as any to have some spring jokes. I hope these bring you some sunshine, but it is unlikely that they will bring you too much… Continue reading Spring Jokes