This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tube Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
It’s so hot that I need SPF1000. When you open the tube, a full length robe comes out.
I put a video of me sneezing on YouTube and now the whole street is doing the same. Apparently it’s gone viral.
I knew something had gone wrong on The Tube when I heard the driver on the radio saying “Euston, we have a problem”…
Felt sad when my tube of toothpaste ended up on the ground. Crest fallen.
Got sacked because I couldn’t make 1000 tubes of glue an hour. I wasn’t ready for a fast paste working environment.
A test tube ended up passing all the exams at university and became a graduated cylinder.
Spotted U2 on the tube. Wanted to get a photo with their guitarist but there was an announcement to stay away from The Edge.
I got a pair of trousers with the London Underground tube map on them. I’ve had to change twice already.
I went to a Tube fancy dress party once. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Jumped on the tube earlier. Got toothpaste everywhere.
If you like these presents jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.