Swimming Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Swimming Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 
 
 

A fish swims into a brick wall. Dam.

 

The key thing that stopped me being a water polo champion was that my horse couldn’t swim.

 

Hippos can run and swim faster than humans, which means cycling is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

 

Had to swim away from a shark the other day in my swimming trunks. No idea how he got into them.

 

If I was on a desert island, the record that I would most like to have is for long distance swimming.

 

Somme asked me for a donation to build a new local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

 

What direction do chickens swim in a pool? Cluck wise.

 

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A JCB.

 

I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep end.

 

Why didn’t the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.

 
 
 

If you like these swimming jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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